𝚁𝚒𝙺 𝙻𝙴𝙾𝙽𝚂

this person is so cross w/ me you’ll understand when you’re older brother!

@SolemnZoomer @Michaeldudufudu I’m giggling so hard. and i’m one of the bookmarks. gr8 job brother

@Michaeldudufudu All they do is hire people they want to be friends with so they have more people to play with during their daycare time

This is why you need 5 years experience for an entry level job btw

the way marge’s voice sounds is easily the most depressing thing in the existence of everything across all forms of media

@ComplexMusic fella said “i would like to accept my award for being a gaylord now please & thanks”

Isaiah Rashad Says He Didn't Get 'Frank Ocean Perks' After Coming Out as Bisexual Details: complex.com/music/a/jaelan…

off 800 seltzers on a school nite dancing extremely to michael jagson & my weiner is so sweaty that if buckleys made a slogan for it it’dbe “it tastes awful & it stinks”

@CaudilloXIV good GOD it probably stinks so gr8

just made this in 3 min & i could probably sell 40 thousand copies of it to boomers on facebook

@JayGenXer luv it. kudos to the punjabi fella. would’ve loved to see a nice bonk on the head from the baseball bat but hey, there’s always next time!

🚨 This is what “people are at their limit” looks like in Toronto right now. Straight from a Toronto gas station convenience store: Woman walks in, grabs drinks, starts chugging one in the middle of the store. Employee tells her to pay or put it back. She refuses, gets mouthy, name-drops herself like it’s a flex. Camera prison: “I work for my money… get out.” She keeps drinking. Chaos erupts. Pushing, yelling, she swings on staff. Employee grabs a bat. Employee physically drags her toward the door while she screams. Meanwhile the employee drops the truth: “7-Eleven already closed… they want all the stores closed in this area because of them.” This isn’t one bad day. This is daily retail theft destroying businesses across Toronto. Stores are shutting down. Workers are exhausted. Customers are done watching criminals just help themselves. When the system refuses to protect people and property, this is what happens. Criminals know that they are untouchable. Toronto — when are we going to stop pretending this is fine? What are YOUR thoughts? #TorontoTheft #RetailCrime #EnoughIsEnough #cdnpoli #TorontoCrime #LawAndOrder

> see her sweet newly installed arse > wow, i should listen to her smash hit single which i went out of my way to rip to my iTunes > ummm 🚨 banger alert 🚨 > check comments under pic of gigantic new turd cutter > wow, it actually cuts turds? > google it > 2nd pic is the result

goodness gracious these people are a circus. brother, there’s 5 words in the tweet and the very first 2 are her name.

the worst part about animals is if u post literally anything about them online, there’ll always be some fun-sucker in the comments like “actually guys i used to work at a chipmunk factory. nuts are NOT healthy for them. they could choke & die. & do NOT pet them. they might die”

@maxwelong oh there’s no line. i just checked bc i have a deep respect for the guido population.

@RikLeons Is guido where you draw the line for racism?

in retrospect it’s kinda krazy that only 1 of the 4 has the rock-hard (pause) guido hair (does that word still fly?) the sons in Growing Up Gotti were 10x the guido the jersey shore boys ever were

me when i’m off 10 to 13 whiskeys and someones gf tells me to stop being racist misogynist and a pig:

the burger king staff member seeing my skip the dishes alter ego name, Desmond NiceGuy popping up on their screen yet again:

went to the michael movie last night and learned that latoya was the meg griffin of the jackson family through a moment when they’re all at the dinner table and someone says “shut up latoya” á la “shut up meg” and the whole family laughs. nice.

@RAWigger you stole this from me!! you were CLEARLY one of the 21 views!!

@JackTheAss_ @JoeyMannarino perfect username

They aren’t talking because you’re in the car. He is trying to be respectful. As soon as you get out they start talking to each other. Those dudes are doing like 20 hour shifts every day to try to put food on their kids plates. Might not seem like it to you but they are working harder than you ever will.

Why do so many Uber drivers drive around with silent videocalls to random people? I just got out of an Uber with “Ahmed” in Brussels. He had a video call on with his friend, another Ahmed or Mohammed, but they don’t speak. They just have the camera on. What in God’s name is the point of this?

@itsb4glow her grammys should’ve been kidnapped from her for that boring/depressing/awful new york song. ugh just thinking about it makes me feel dark.

Unpopular Opinion: I don’t see how she’s won 17 GRAMMYs. 😕

@AngryPossum69 opened a bag of these the other day & they smelled *exactly* like a girl fart

You people can't even imagine what Canada is like