Greta Gaybo

Sorry to disappoint any new followers, but mostly I just drink wine with my cats and tweet snarky things about D-list celebrities.

@misskylie77 And she drank 3 LITRES of vodka, like, she deserves to but put on a coin for drinking that much and surviving.

Free her!!!!!!!!!

A gay cooker, huh. I mean, statistically it's to be expected, but there's still something deeply unnatural about that combination.

@kezzyi66 Hot.

@robcoco Like this?

Thinking I should get my hair cut into a cunty bob

Coming into the office in the morning, I'm smiling, happy, saying good morning to everyone. But leaving, leaving is a different story altogether.

This bitch app ruined my life.

"This is not an assignment you can finish in one day" oh yeah, fucken watch me.

Them: It's urgent Me: How urgent? Them: Very urgent. Me: Can it wait until tomorrow? Them: Yes.

I've been banned from Bumble again 😔

@PureBredGay She is the stepmother blueprint.

Do I have what it takes to be a stepmother?

@benisjammin93 Deal!

@benisjammin93 It would make them 23. End of discussion.

@WindsorBeaver @sueytweets Mine works in the office next to mine. She will hit send, then immediately pop her head in my door and say 'did you see?'

@sueytweets @robcoco Some of them don’t even wait a minute before calling. Like buddy, I can be working on anything up to 140 files at once. You need to breathe. I will get to you in due course.

I don’t quite understand people who answer phone calls to then say they are not available to talk and will call back. Why answer? Why not just send a text?

@kezzyi66 I'm so happy I'm not the only one hahaha

I always think the RBA lady is Caitlin Jenner.

@Brodhe Actually necessary for normal functioning.

How good are tacos

@WindsorBeaver @sueytweets There's one in every organisation.

@sueytweets This to the people who call 2 minutes after sending an email!!! ‘I sent an email’ 2 minutes ago, you fucking psychopath. Let me read!!!

This is how if feels to be a f*ggot who doesn't drive right now

Who speaks limited French and is feeling extra smug because they barely drive? This moi.

@WindsorBeaver Nobody has fun deaths anymore!

@robcoco I’ve considered the swan dive but dear god, you’re right! Much better

I'm ✨ manifesting ✨ a piano falling from the sky and landing on me