Dame Judi Wench

Sorry to disappoint any new followers, but mostly I just drink wine with my cats and tweet snarky things about D-list celebrities.

@ohiojesustwink @theage We'll know it's her by the white hood.

Pauline Hanson is rumoured to appear on The Masked Singer Australia. (Source: @theage)

Feeling bad for oomf who had to get a new license photo taken right after getting a terrible haircut.

Reorganising my snack drawer and questioning certain decisions I've made in my life.

@Spanners_cat Maybe I'll need to find a Surgeon of my own.

@HughGriffin2 Just makes me want to sit on a knife.

How she looks at you when you're big beef and cheddar:

@Dean_Machine_ Much like Steven Bradbury. Ew, a sports reference. I've been spending too much time with the lesbians.

"bUt HoW cAn AuStRaLiA cOmPeTe In EuRoViSiOn?!" Very easily. We pick a song, we send the artist, they go on the stage, they sing the song, they do a little dance, we get the votes. Next question!

@Spanners_cat Including the plating? I don't like that sound of that.

@Spanners_cat You're letting some Surgeon (if that even is his real name) SCREW MrsS? Multiple times?

Despite what the haters and the losers say about me both behind my back and in front of my back as well.

I'm dignified in my own dignity.

She's a bogan but she means well

this is probably my favorite screenshot of all time

@Dean_Machine_ @PureBredGay I've never been premature at anything, and that's not going to change any time soon.

I see once again I’m forced to speak an uncomfortable truth: Australia shouldn’t even be IN Eurovision, considering we’re [checks notes] NOT PART OF EUROPE

Another week of being a whore member who remembers.

@ohiojesustwink This is satanic

@Spanners_cat @hammocklyfe Famously.

I love that we get a little Grand Final replay, it's so nice that the Eurovision season in Australia lasts just that little bit longer #SBSEurovision