I am cisgender Elon Musk. Uh, parody

Hahahahahahahaha haha aha HAHA!! nymag.com/selectall/2017…

@DirkDaknife @JakeSherman @tparti And if someone forced you to leave your home of twenty plus years? How just and fair would you find that proposal?

@RobJRII @JakeSherman @tparti And there is nothing cruel about my proposal. I said the Federal govt should buy all the property. You would be justly compensated for the property. That's not cruel.

Trump says the federal government should run D.C., per pooler @tparti

@samknight1 Fantastic

@lib_crusher Wasnt that where they just arrested Chris Kluwe?

@IamSamMaiyaki @washingtonpost Wtf do all you people mean exactly when you say “streamline operations?” Stop delivering to unprofitable routes as we are obligated to do? Or what, drastically cut more ppl in what is already an agency that is understaffed?

The USPS has been plagued by inefficiency and financial losses for years. Bringing it under direct executive oversight could finally introduce accountability, streamline operations, and modernize a system that desperately needs reform. Trump is taking bold action to fix what others have ignored!

Breaking news: Trump is preparing to dissolve the leadership of the U.S. Postal Service and absorb the independent mail agency into his administration, potentially throwing the mail provider and trillions of dollars of ecommerce transactions into turmoil. wapo.st/4i9aDfu

@djhatchet123 @BecauseCulture @washingtonpost I can’t imagine a universe where that would even be possible. Okay, use magical thinking to make all presorted standard and marketing mail suddenly disappear, still impossible. Jesus, just thinking of last election season, idea of delivering all those ballots w/ 1/6th the time?

@BecauseCulture @washingtonpost Hi, I’m a letter carrier. You can’t fathom what the ramifications of this idea would be. Delivering mail one time a week would be an insurmountable task. Nevermind the time sensitive pieces of first class mail being delayed.

@DirkDaknife @JakeSherman @tparti Yeah well it does dickhead, and has for a very long time, many many of them being antecedents of enslaved people that found this to be one of the few safe places they could call home. Who the fuck are you to tell them where to go? Or me for that matter. Find a pier.

@RobJRII @JakeSherman @tparti You shouldn't be there anyway, the DC was never meant to have permanent residents. It's why you do not now and never will have representation in Congress. Because you aren't supposed to live there. Move to Maryland or VA and commute in. No permanent resident!

@Sydney_Brewer1 @briebriejoy Oh whatever, it’s not part of my culture but I know a lot of people for whom it is. Just curious, I had never heard that aou Cancers if that’s the case. My poor brother!

@RobJRII @briebriejoy It’s astrology. It’s all nonsense.

This clip made me google Elon's birthday because I just knew he was gonna be a Cancer. I was right. Biggest nerds I ever met. (Sorry to my brothers).

@esjesjesj Telling on yourself there

Replies are filled with people who’ve never had sex telling me it does not go hard

@RealTevorScott @unusual_whales Yeah, no, it is in fact a horrific idea in a dozen different ways

@unusual_whales Tbh, not a terrible idea but only if vehicle price is lower at purchase. Make ad free services a paid monthly subscription.

Some Jeep owners are being hit with pop-up ads inside their cars—and it’s all part of Stellantis’s, $STLA, plan to make an extra $20 billion a year, per FORTUNE.

@jzellis Right?

@DirkDaknife @JakeSherman @tparti Uh, I mean, for one thing this is our home and we don’t want to be forced out. Kinda seems like an extremely cruel thing to do to a gigantic population of United States citizens. Also, everything else ludicrous about this aside do you have any clue how much money that would cost?

@RobJRII @JakeSherman @tparti After the govt buys their homes at fair market value, they take that money and go live somewhere else. Just not in DC. How is it hard to understand this concept. They move out of DC, all 700,000 of them.

@Pattypan @washingtonpost @postlocal What do you know? You even been there?

@washingtonpost @postlocal You think they are? The place is a sewer

President Donald Trump said Wednesday night that the federal government “should take over the governance of D.C.,” claiming that leaders of the nation’s capital are not doing enough to reduce crime, clean up graffiti and remove homeless encampments. wapo.st/4hHXYQX

@Yurboyba @washingtonpost Not how it works

@washingtonpost It was supposed to be under federal control anyway as I understand it.

@rewegreatyet @washingtonpost Yeah, place is lousy with it

@washingtonpost Graffiti?

@tomdouglas16 @washingtonpost He didn’t

@bobbyr75 @washingtonpost It’s really not

@washingtonpost Trump’s right! DC’s a mess. The crime’s wild, graffiti’s everywhere, and don't forget about all of the homeless camps? #MAGA 🇺🇸 💪

@BartemyS @washingtonpost What the fuck kinda logic is that?

@washingtonpost States take over governance of cities when cities are failing. It has happened multiple times before. DC government is failing. They are not in a state, so it makes sense for the Fed government to take it over.

@ElarRealm @washingtonpost Fuck off

@washingtonpost A nation's capital should be its crown jewel—not a cautionary tale. If local leaders can’t fix it, maybe it’s time for a higher hand.

@BerryRazi @MorePerfectUS Yeah, that’s kinda the point. This efficiency totem is just garbage. For vital government apparatuses, especially emergency disaster response, we want and need redundancy.

@MorePerfectUS Larger teams don’t mean more efficient teams.

BREAKING: The Trump administration plans to cut 84% of staff at the office that funds disaster recovery across the United States.