Dr. Robin Stern

I'm excited to announce that my book, #TheGaslightEffectRecoveryGuide is now available on all platforms! This time, as an interactive workbook, readers can learn about gaslighting & how to recover through prompts, checklists, quizzes & reflective questions buff.ly/3EkOSHQ

If you could see the chat history between your child and an AI right now, would you be relieved by what you saw or would you be devastated by what they were afraid to tell you?

We have to stop being scared of the bot and start building the conditions where the next generation knows that you can actually deal with what they are bringing you. When they bring a messy, terrified version of themselves to a chatbot instead of to you, it is because they’ve realized their truth is a burden you aren’t equipped to carry. We’re teaching them they only matter when they are being convenient. @RobinSStern and I for @USATODAY on the great human forfeiture: usatoday.com/story/opinion/…

We have made the word gaslighting so common that the boundary is getting harder to hold. Not every painful conversation is gaslighting, but when someone keeps turning you away from your own reality, that is different. The Gaslight Effect, listen here: open.spotify.com/episode/4Let00…

I knew what gaslighting was, and I still started questioning myself. That is the pull of it. Insight can help, but it does not always protect you from the question gaslighting is designed to create. The 100th episode of The Gaslight Effect, listen here: open.spotify.com/episode/4Let00…

When I was writing The Gaslight Effect, my kids were among the first people to call me out on gaslighting. They were teasing me, but they were also reminding me that knowing the language does not place you above the dynamic. The full episode is here: open.spotify.com/episode/4Let00…

For the 100th episode of The Gaslight Effect, Melissa Wild asked me about gaslighting, motherhood, and my own mother. I thought we were talking about my work, and then suddenly we were talking about where the work began. The full episode is here: open.spotify.com/episode/4Let00…

Some days I sit around and think, I don’t talk to anybody anymore. And I’m an emotion scientist. If it’s happening to me, I have to believe a lot of us are feeling it too. That is part of why my friend and colleague Dan Cordaro and I made The Point of Connection™. Not to make conversation impressive. Just to give people a reason to sit across from each other, answer one honest question, and see where it takes them. The Point of Connection™ is available now. 🔗f.mtr.cool/wfmxbujlre #PointofConnection #Emotionalintelligence #Humanity #CardGames

Everyone says “trust your gut,” but gaslighting can make the gut feeling itself feel suspicious. The tiny shift matters because your body learns the contrast: this is being scrambled by the loop, and this is coming back to myself. 🔗podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bre…

Gaslighting can make you feel like needing a reality check is proof that you are losing it. But sometimes the conversation has gotten so distorted that another steady voice helps you find your way back to what you know. New post w/ Dr. Elisha Goldstein: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bre…

When gaslighting has you doubting yourself, most people want the final answer: was I right, were they lying, did I overreact? The first shift may be noticing the loop before it pulls you back into defending your reality: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bre… #TinyShifts

The earliest interruption point in gaslighting may be the feeling you keep explaining away. Not the whole truth. Still data. New episode with Dr. Elisha Goldstein: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bre… #EmotionsAreData #EmotionalIntelligence #Gaslighting

Gaslighting does not always look the same. It can sound supportive, charming, or intimidating. If you leave these interactions thinking less about what occurred & more about how to explain yourself better next time, that confusion is not accidental. 🔗 robinstern.com/the-gaslight-e…

Gaslighting is hard to name when it starts to feel like the water you are swimming in, shaping what you doubt before you even notice the loop. Elisha Goldstein’s 4R model starts there: recognizing the loop before you keep explaining from inside it. 🔗podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bre…

Gaslighting can make self-trust feel like the dangerous choice. That is why the tiny shift matters: before you explain it one more time, ask what you already know to be true. New episode with Dr. Elisha Goldstein: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the… #TinyShifts #Gaslighting

Over time, that confusion doesn’t just stay out there. It turns inward. Naming the culture we’re swimming in isn’t about blame or drama. It’s about reclaiming your right to trust your own perception. robinstern.com/the-gaslight-e… #Gaslighting #Recovery

Confusion is one of the clearest signs of gaslighting. And it’s exhausting. Often, it looks like living in a world where the story keeps shifting. Where messages contradict each other. Where you’re subtly encouraged to doubt what you noticed, felt, or questioned.

One question to ask yourself is this...After the special moments, do I feel more secure or more confused & like I am walking on eggshells? Feeling unsettled is not being ungrateful. It is information. If this feels familiar, you are not imagining it. robinstern.com/the-gaslight-e…

Glamour gaslighting often comes wrapped in big gestures and perfect dates. You are told it is all “for you” while your questions and discomfort are brushed aside. The show is for their benefit. #Gaslighting #Recovery

Sometimes no one has to call you too sensitive. You get there first. You edit the hurt, question your memory, and convince yourself the problem is you. That is where #rejectionsensitivity can become self-gaslighting. My new Psychology Today article: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/power-…

That is why this distinction matters so much. A clear limit may be disappointing, but it is less confusing than a fake choice. Margot Magowan and I talk about this on The Gaslight Effect: open.spotify.com/episode/4d8Mok… #Parenting #Gaslighting #NonViolentCommunication

The test of a request is not how gentle it sounds. It is what happens when the answer is no. A parent can say, “Would you please?” & still mean, “You better.” Children can feel that difference. So can partners, friends, & anyone who has learned to read the room.  Thread ⬇️