Rob Wager 🦧

Can we please ban "we need our best players on the pitch" It is driving me insane. Please tell me I'm not alone. It has to stop. Seriously. I hate it.

Opening Twitter is like having a lil phone cigarette

The government HAS a story to tell: 'We have been, and will continue, restoring little pieces of the demolished social-democratic settlement, at a somewhat slower rate than the pace at which AI-boosted platform capitalism is destroying the bases of our social existence'.

if one wants to imagine sisyphus happy, just imagine he’s recording the activity on strava

I would never kill any birds let alone Two with A Stone

I see why John Lennon cut this verse. Very clunky. Barely even rhymes

if Starmer wants to survive the next 48 hours as PM, he *must* finally reveal to the British public what his late parents' jobs were

just hooed after sitting completely silent on a tree for 8 hours straight

Microsoft Teams, I will never want to open an Excel document in a browser. Never. Never ever.

@haikuforidiots @OhCheesesChrist @adidas Let's have them the season after, home, away, third all in one drop (@adidas) !!!

@Robjwager @OhCheesesChrist @adidas 86/88 were mint too!

Can we now re-release this jacket with the news of the Mainoo contract, please? @adidas

I hate when people at work ask you what books you are reading for professional development. I am reading books to counteract the effects of being professionally developed. I am reading books that bring me back to being human.

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

@DexxterUtd Clip ruined by Drury's insane commetary

After watching this, you'd notice that the quality of premier league football has dropped off so badly.

@astro_robb I think his class position was complicated because his earliest years with Julia at 9 Newcastle Road weren't representative of the middle class life Mimi aspired to at Menlove Avenue, and he always had the thing of 'but this is my Aunt, where is my "real" family'

I love the song working class hero sm but John was never working class and it icks me how he‘s preaching practices (lol) but his ass didn’t HAVE to work like the working class to be even able to afford to live his life

@Layo_FH It's giving data centre vibes and you've been boomerslopped, I fear

It’s giving me the vibes of a less extreme Johannesburg. Public realm gradually crumbling, while the homes of those with cash, gradually become a little bit more fortress-like.

philosophers have hitherto only reflected on the blowjob

plenty of fish in the sea, but i wanted that fish. i really like that fish

@batcountry1980 They routinely took vast quantities of amphetamines and recording was much simpler lol, they weren't trying to emulate some plumber they'd watched growing up. Imagine suggesting to 1963 John Lennon that he was a 'grafter', the whole point of being in a group was to avoid that

Things get pretty ridiculous when you start looking at Beatles recording dates. October the 17th, 1963, they record I Want to Hold Your Hand, the colossal Beatlemania battering ram that breaks America. This Boy, with its beautifully intricate three part harmonies, and if that’s not enough, they also throw in the Christmas record for the fan club. All of this in a day’s work. Done, move on. The next day they are up in Manchester doing a tv special. And that’s part of what made them so special. Aye, they were creating magic, but there was a real working class grit to them, grafters who saw hardworking people in their upbringing and carried that attitude with them.