Rob Johnson

@elonmuskTN It's the Mona Lisa

What is potamia and why is there a mess of it?

Has anyone actually tried a pill bug? I know they're small but it looks like you could scrape a bit of meat out with a tiny melon-baller.

@xnailbunnyx Nice

*stretches* *stretches* *stretches* *finally touches toes* WOMAN ON BUS: Stop touching my feet, creep.

I found out recently that Galileo is still being persecuted to this day. No lie. I was surprised; I thought that was done. I've moved on and persecuted 6 other people.

Based on what I've seen I think it's safe to say that there are a lot of weirdos. I don't have the stats in front of me right now or anything, but yeah, there's a pretty high probability.

Sure sucks to have a really great thing to tweet and you spell something wrong or omit a word. It can ruin the better part of a day. Just staring at it. 🙁

Clearly we need to get the wave going in the 3rd period. #mtuhky

If you can't find YOUR seat, bring me your ticket and I'll help you out. I'm in section G. #mtuhky

@MTUHuskies I have an idea...sit where your ticket says you should sit.

Where's the hate button?

You better start liking my tweets or I'm going to start hating yours.

The funniest people are typically the ones that are trying so hard to look cool.

Shit-stained ankles are no longer cool. Just sayin

I always thought that was his dick coming out of, and tucked back into his pants (the "coiled cobra"). It was just his bright white gut.

FFS, put a shirt on! I understand you've been going to the gym for two weeks, but please put your fucking shirt back on dude...Not Cool.

It's been a long time since I've Tweeted. I would have thought my return would be more glorious than this.

How are you? Great. That's great. It sure is. ~small talk

Hi, I'm Dave. Dave, that's a nice name. Uh...it's not uncommon. I didn't say UNCOMMON, Dave. I said NICE...fuck it, it's a stupid name.