Robyn Epstein 🌼

My brain wants me to be able to listen to music, watch TV, and read all at the same time but then hates me when I try to do it

I honestly hate Twitter now but came here because this is the only social media he doesn’t follow me on and if he somehow sees this anyway - good. I’m nice until you give me a reason not to be. I deserve better.

Also, if the Yankees lose, I’ll still be happy because that means he’ll be so pissed that the Dodgers won. That’s karma for ghosting me out of nowhere after texting me everyday for over 2 months.

The man who ghosted me (but still follows me on Insta and watches my stories and has me in his close friends stories) hates the Dodgers and its made me so happy that he’s been forced to root for the Yankees (my team) in the World Series.

@jackantonoff These are my favorite earplugs, I can’t sleep without them

i would like to tell you directly from me that i did in fact use earplugs the other night. they were blue ‘hearos’ brand and im mortified to admit that i’ve been using them for a long time as well as buying them in bulk. i would also like to be honest and get ahead of that fact-

@ghostisphere Honestly though, all three look good so you can’t make a bad choice

@RobynLEpstein noted noted thank u…

first time getting glasses i need help

Did anyone else sob uncontrollably during this performance? Just me?

@juliegygax @JohnPalminteri Classes at UCSB on Monday not canceled at the moment

@JohnPalminteri How about UCSB?

Due to the urgent atmospheric river weather forecast for Monday Feb. 5, with an estimated five to ten inches of rain, along with roadway flooding, Santa Barbara City College and the Santa Barbara Unified School District have canceled classes.

Just realized that the actor who plays Farleigh from Saltburn is also in Midsommar and that tracks what a genre

@ohgreekgod This is why I legit dedicated my Master’s thesis to my cat

remember rick riordan's note in the house of hades???? so unserious 😭😭😭

@rorschachisgay It’s the PBS t-shirt for me

he looks like a woman at a farmers market who knows an insane amount about the healing properties of honey and is going through an extremely acrimonious divorce

First day of class and my computer decides today is the day to suddenly die 🙃

@KLewisNYC True but it still took your son 5 to get it 😂

@RobynLEpstein It was easy today

Drunk and still got Wordle in 3

@BrandenJOak THANK YOU

Made the mistake of accidentally choosing the spot next to the heater at hot yoga… won’t do that again

Best part of my night is when I get in bed and my cat comes and lays down on my lap while I do Wordle

Of course my cat decides she wants to cuddle all night on the hottest night we’ve had all summer… she’s lucky she’s so cute

Regretting not immediately leaving my Hinge date last week after learning he didn’t know what the Parthenon was. THE PARTHENON. And get this, dude has been to Greece. Red flag 🚩

@lufleurbing Ok but I actually think I won this one

big four as Taylor Swift bridges these are mine 🌙