Rory Panagotopulos

@CraigRowin It took me a year to find something truly important to say. 🙏

@RoryPan Rory tweeted!

Voicemail from a banana I bought 2 days ago: "Hey, it's me, I just wanted to let you know that I am completely rotten now. Also, when you do the thing where you pretend bananas are phones, that's offensive. We use regular telephones. K bye." 🙄

@CraigRowin @Gabrus Have faith my friend. One day our mothers will come to their senses, and let us see it. 🤞🙏

@Gabrus @RoryPan How did you know? I’m still grounded and have yet to see the other two and a half hours of the movie.

Midnight viewing of Lord of the Rings The Two Towers. 20 minutes in the movie stops. Everyone’s pissed. The theater manager and a cop come in & call out 2 kids. Their moms had called. The kids were supposed to be at sleepovers at each other’s houses. The leave in a walk of shame.

Overheard in Central Park, epicenter of the NYC anarchy zone, "Oh my gosh! The whales were amaaaaazing this summer!"

THICC cucumber.

Been an absolutely EPIC month.

Pig=Capitalism Homer=Neo-liberals Bart=Pandemic

@fishermatt Looks more like Sir Elton is driving to the hole for a lay up.

@dynamoe @ashleyjward Somehow the original post has gotten funnier.

It might be a good time to consider changing Presidents' Day to Three Equal Branches of Government Day. Hooray Checks! Huzzah Balances!

Epitaph: THIS FEELS REALLY PREMIUM.

Big news this morning: I saw a man wearing a Number 7 train baseball cap while riding the Number 1 train. Only. In. New. York. Ba. By.

Middle aged white dudes also love cool James.

The farts...they're coming from INSIDE the butt.

Y'all don't even remember what Windows '95 smelled like.

@GGARLOCK I mean that first Batali 7" is cvlt, but you just can't keep supporting these people.

That #GoT petition is stupid, because this is literally the only possible ending that would have satisfied all viewers.

Told ya.

Uhhhhhhhh spoilers!

The planet Neptune is home to the solar system's only known baseball field.