Rumi

“Tonight’s matchup is the OKC Thunder Vs the Klu Klux Klan!!!!” NBA Twitter:

Absolute thermonuclear 100 billion megaton truth nuke

I love illegal immigration get tf in here girl 😛

Weed does this for every sport

Okay sure, I say. Call your dad. My date starts to protest. She didn't think I would call her bluff. No, seriously, go on. Call him. She pulls out her phone in exasperation. I can't believe you're making me do this, she says. Men these days are completely useless. She puts her phone up to her ear and turns to the wall, refusing to look at me. I hear my own phone start to vibrate in my pocket. Whoever it is, I'll call them back later. I reach down to silence my phone. My hands look different, older. My date is still staring at the wall with her phone pressed to her ear. There's nothing for me to do but look around. The man at the next table over is also getting a call. And so is the man at the table behind him. I think they look kind of similar, but I can't be sure. I didn't wear my glasses today because they make me look geeky. The urgent hum of cell phones buzzing starts to build throughout the restaurant. Can I get you guys anything else over here? My date still isn't making eye contact with me, but she sets her phone down to address the waiter. I can hear it faintly ringing. Dad? What are you doing working here?

Make sure to feed your apartment sink drain lots of cooking grease so it can get big and strong

@honest30bgfan_ Short story: when Drake was a kid he was shot and at that time lil Wayne was a cop, lil wayne gave cpr to save his life ❤️

You guys would never believe it but im really a fat chud in real life

Is this how pepsi is made?

@mattellama @thezeusbaddies @IDF @realDonaldTrump @charliekirk11 This transgender is stepping out of line

@RumiB7 @thezeusbaddies I think they r good without you…. Sissy

@thezeusbaddies I’d like to apply to be one of the baddies. Please contact me with next steps

@mattellama Yeah im down

@RumiB7 Hello rumi are you wanting to go to how to train your dragon world universal

Fuck you

@thezeusbaddies I’m looking to apply to be one of the Baddies

@realDonaldTrump @netanyahu Hello great American hero’s!! Can you wish my friend Tulip a happy birthday? Thank you and GOD BLESS!!!

I want to have 15 kids and raise them to be my own army of chuds

You could literally: -Put $5,000 in a bank paying 3% annually -Live off the $6,000/mo interest payment Why are more people not doing this?

I’d say 850-900 calories

I’m at a party and this dude sitting in his girlfriends lap

if you ever meet someone who at one point was globally ranked in a video game hire them immediately