RYAN LYNCH

Do I love my job? No. But does it afford me the ability to go out drinking and partying all weekend without ending up broke? Also no.

Can’t even look at X anymore without the night mode feature. My already limited usage is about to fall way off @elonmusk

The bathroom in my office is a wifi/service dead zone. Intentional or not, this may be one of the best productivity hacks I’ve ever seen. No long breaks, no waiting for a stall, everybody’s in an out.

I’ve officially become the guy who signs off his emails with “Cheers”

Did Selena Gomez mean to add me to her secret friends on instagram?

I’ve decided for Lent I’m giving up being such a hater, only good vibes from me til Easter

Uhh yeah I think I’ll have the Artichoke

Telling all my friends Venmo requests come with a Net45

There seem to be a lot of people who claim to be woodworkers but are just making copyright infringement Cornhole boards

New York State is sending me a check for $400 and I’m going to use that as justification for $4000 of frivolous spending

Nothing makes me hang up faster than a robot voice saying “hello please don’t hang up”

Why does my weather app have MFA?? It’s not like it controls the weather

One thing about me is no matter how successful, rich, or famous I get, I will always sell out. I can be bought

Grilling for vegetarians

I feel like the Epstein List is like a genie wish gone wrong situation. Like you asked to be famous and written down in the history books so he puts you on the Epstein List

I feel like the Epstein List is one of those genie wishes gone wrong. Like you wish to be famous, impactful, and talked about forever and this is how the genie does it

Spray Cream sunscreen sunscreen 🤝 doing each others backs

Why is, checks notes, Saudi Arabia in the Gold Cup??

Music to my ears

BREAKING: New at @Mets games this season - The Dog Bowl! For $12.99, fans can get 12 hot dogs stuffed inside of a Mets helmet. Could you finish this?

Badass as hell