Lady Gabardine

Listening to Never Grow Up hits different now. *sobs uncontrollably while squeezing my kids*

The Tampa Tribune, Florida, April 19, 1912

@mistercodester If this is your brand of Tik tok check out americanfille, she’s doing something similar in Paris!

@DietCoke_Esq For me it’s the “my good sonic the hedgehog bookmark” implying that he has at least one subpar sonic the hedgehog bookmark.

@S_fletcher Given that your sons are too young to form a sentence this long, this must be Matthew

“I lost my good sonic the hedgehog bookmark and I’m really upset about it”

Mood.

One thing about having kids - your fingernails WILL be permanently stained from endlessly peeling oranges.

@McDErin My mantra all day.

I can play fun bar games with my friends like a sane, rational human because said games aren’t that serious. I can play fun bar games with my friends like a sane, rational human because said games aren’t that serious. I can play fun bar games with my friends like a sane, rational

Me unmuting all white lotus words now that I’ve finished it:

I’m getting a Christmas card today and even though there’s only two adult couples together enough to send me a card, I am eagerly awaiting.

ah I’d love to but i’m pretty booked up this winter

In a stunning turn of events, The Walt Disney Co. says that Bob Chapek will step down as CEO, with Bob Iger returning to lead the company: thr.cm/0shtWMu

the sluttiest thing a man can do is love his gf so immensely that thinking about her makes him cry with joy

Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

ok i truly couldn't tell you a single thing about kamala harris' tenure as VP but there is no one on this earth i'd rather have a two glass of white wine lunch with, like this woman is just vibing twitter.com/laylology/stat…

@DietCoke_Esq Forecasting another 200% year-over-year growth to our stakeholders.

@S_fletcher How many do you want?

Last year I increased our in home Christmas tree count by 200% - stay tuned to see how many Christmas trees I convince Matt we need this year.