Sam Oslyn

Just got called a “long legged f*ggot” (derogatory) was kind of slay

@PatchNavillus You are forbidden to cut the locks

@SamOslyn hit me on the nose

Agonized over the texture and volume of my hair for decades and in walks Harris Dickinson and I’m like ok if I don’t have short flat slightly thin hair by new years I’ll fucking kill myself. I will simply never be free ijbol

Who needs porn anymore? when I need visual stimulation I just skip through people’s insta stories, the targeted ads have gotten so horny

@murfnotmurphy Aren’t you on the clock? Get back to work

@SamOslyn DREAM SCENARIO (2023, dir. Kristoffer Borgli)

Just made my bf apologize for being mean to me in my dream last night

What if instead of the United States we had a pizza party????

I was today years old when I learned that Ross Matthews isn’t Cher’s trans son.

Cutting my heat tech into a crop top because a *** never gets cold

Day 533. I fear I shall never recover from Renaissance. Its sound has colored the blood that runs through my veins. Like the antidote to a snake bite, the end of my suffering can only be derived of the very venom that plagues me, aka Beyoncé please drop act mothafuckin 2

One good thing about the way life seems to accelerate the older you get, with meaningless days melting into cursory weeks melting into wasted years, is that it feels like your hair grows faster than it did when you were younger!

@cherubicspice Help

I like to play my switch in public to let people know that I’m not just hot, I’m also uncool

@cherubicspice @ipsssen Bad luck to talk on these rides

My bestie’s future husband just sent me his vows for approval (smart) and my only note was “if you’re going to include a bible verse, then you also have to include a frank ocean verse”

@TyleKurner 🥹🥹🫶🏼

they should sell clementines at movie theaters

Me texting my boyfriend at 1 am

Just got ice cream with my friends in San Diego and they opted to get it to-go, drive home, and THEN eat it. California is such a deeply fucked up place

International opera sensation Christine Daaé has parted ways with her manager The Phantom (aka Opera Ghost), Billboard reports

summer can’t be over yet. i’m not done looking at men’s beautiful thighs

how it feels to like mint chocolate chip ice cream

@TyleKurner Tote bag

how do i make my right shoulder stop sounding so creaky and jangly ?