Sam Smith

Hey look it's @SamSmithComedy! (and a bunch of other random people)

@pcuser42 AAAHHHH YUSSS this is my dream!

Uh... no, that's not what I meant.

No more nachos :(

*Something happens that doesn't include a person called Ruth* ME: Man, that was ruthless.

It's Nov 25th - only 13 months till Xmas!!

A bird in the hand is worth washing your hand.

@treskewl1 But I don't know! That's the problem!

@SamSmithComedy If you know you know

What the hell does #IYKYK mean?

@sooflayed NO! STOP IT!!

bald wilkinson

Movie Sequel idea: 101,101 Dalmatians. Same as 101 Dalmatians but just like heaps more dogs and they're everywhere. You can hardly tell what's going on because there are so many goddamn dogs.

Why did Joe Marler dress as a vampire for the final? #CelebrityTraitors

Zac's All, Foulkes! #Blackcaps

Welcome back, Wyclef Jean.

A kiwi punk band called the Sucks Pustles

What is the first name of the Jurassic Park character played by New Zealand actor Sam Neill? #QuestionsThatContainTheAnswer

When Orson Welles died his ashes were chucked down a well.

Thindlerth Lithp

I wrote this book about teeth. Guess that makes me an author-dontist.

People often ask if my name is short for anything, and YES it's short for Samuel Smithereens.