Sam Ward

Me when I don’t know any of the answers but the invigilator is walking towards me 😂

In other words, Carrick doesn't give the journalists the drama and headlines they crave.

@tomsan456 🗑️

Oh dear Martin ffs Did I say that old Keown lacks objectivity. f@@k me backwards, he is the grand frommage of bias.

Things you should never do to introverts: 1. Show up to our homes unexpectedly. 2. Interrupt our recharge time. 3. Invite people to the outing without telling us. 4. Call us right after we texted you. 5. Ask us “why are you so quiet?”

I used to know the name of every player, in every team. Now, on the rare occasion I watch CL football, I know hardly anyone. I never thought I'd get this old/uninterested in football.

With Ian Huntley dead, let's remember his victims — Holly Wells (L) and Jessica Chapman — who would've been 34-years-old today. Chances are they both would've been parents to their own children. 🇬🇧

4 years ago today, one of the very best passed away. RIP Shane Warne, the King 👑

@tomsan456 never seen anyone do this before 😂

A poignant moment as Llandudno joined together for a round of applause in honour of the late, great John Virgo ❤️👏

@jabbathesutt How poor is Serie A if Inter are 10 clear of Milan and 14 of Napoli.

Barcelona’s goal just took EIGHT MINUTES to get cancelled out by VAR… What is this sport becoming?

A 96th minute equaliser, goal of the season contender, 9 unbeaten in the league. And we’re talking about some gimp’s hair. Modern football 🚮

@joegibney15 @davehendon @fouldsy147 @Nick_Metcalfe @philhaigh_ @kellietext They said it’ll still be £30 per month.

TNT Sports streaming to move in the UK - not Ireland - from Discovery + to HBO Max from March 26th. Don't know if this means paying more money for snooker. @davehendon @fouldsy147 @Nick_Metcalfe @philhaigh_ @kellietext hbomax.com/gb/en

🚨Simon Jordan RIPS Eni Aluko to shreds in front of her - No commercial sense - Believes everything is structural racism - Not Enlightening - Not Illuminating - Not Engaging - Not Chrismatic - Not Likable So he's met her then

Saying all this about Aluko while she is sat next to him 😅

I got a call from a scammer yesterday. Me: “Hello.” Scammer: (thick, heavy accent) “Hello. This is Tom Smith from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity coming from your device.” Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?” Scammer: “Oh yes, Madam. We have many reports.” Me: “Oh, jeez. How can I fix it?” Scammer: “It’s okay, Madam. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device?” Me: “Yes. I was just about to use it. I’m glad you called.” Scammer: “Good, Madam. Please push the Start button.” Me: “I think it’s already on.” Scammer: “Okay, Madam. Now click on Control Panel.” Me: “I don’t see that.” Scammer: “Do you see a bunch of information above the Start button?” Me: “Yes.” Scammer: “That is your Control Panel.” Me: “Wow. I didn’t realize it had a name.” Scammer: “Yes, Madam. Now press Internet Options.” Me: “I don’t see any Internet options. I don’t think I bought that feature. This is just a cheap one.” Scammer: “All devices have Internet, Madam. Press the Start button again.” Me: “Okay. Same as before.” Scammer: “That’s fine, Madam. We will restart your device. Please turn it off.” Me: “Um… I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off. It kind of just stays on.” Scammer: “There must be an off button. How do you stop it when it’s running?” Me: “I usually press the big button.” Scammer: “Okay, Madam. Press that button.” Me: “Okay.” Scammer: “Is your device off?” Me: “No. The door popped open.” Scammer: “Door? Is there a disc inside?” Me: “No. There’s a burrito.” Scammer: “Why is there a burrito in your computer?” Me: “Computer? I thought you said this was microwave support.”

YANITED❤️ class day thankyou @ManUtd 💪🏼🫡

"Show your flag off son, you deserve it." ❤️ John Virgo's final World Championship was a special one - a compilation of some of his greatest moments is now live on our YouTube channel.