Sam°

This is where I tweet from

Me and speed really made it bro

Bro let’s go to the self destructive bar and mutilate ourselves it’ll be fun

Breathing in smoke while navigating my way around this explosive diarrhea parasite that’s probably in my kibble (corporate slop bowl)

I can’t wait to watch the World Cup semifinals that my country is hosting on a weekday in the middle of the afternoon

Love island Jen Burger Funny Bar, Lower East Side New York City

A phone that’s a little bit too big to look like a phone and a time share that only actually gets used every fourth year

You’ll drink raw milk, you’ll use mouth tape, and oftentimes you’ll even eat the steak + avocado + egg on a cutting board combo. However you’ve also hit your cart every day for the last three years with no plans of stopping.

Decipher what I mean when I choose to hide my entire self behind metaphors and unnecessary adjectives

Oftentimes I’ll buy and eat bananas that are far too green. I don’t prefer the taste of them over yellow bananas, I’m honestly not very fond of it. I can’t stop acting this way. That is a flaw of my being. I am talking about bananas but I’m also not talking about bananas.

USMNT I still love you, I still believe in you. Our day doesn’t have to be today but I know I will see it one day.

So few losses have hurt me this bad man

I just want to cry man, this was supposed to be the year that gave us hope in the program.

I guess that’s why

WHY NOT US?

Quick hump pump the subway turnstile so it spanks me when it spins back around

No world where the Croatian player touched that, not offsides at all

James Rodriguez and Cristiano Ronaldo still doing the pretty boy gimmick at their big age

Please let’s talk please

I remember when Don Toliver was cool

Walking around the museum, glancing until something grips me