sairr uhh

Do the kardashians fart in their own house

people who have kids and are aware of how shit the world is are a special kind of sadistic

I just want to see @rickygervais, @GordonRamsay and @SimonCowell ride a rollercoaster together.

Just bury your entire house several feet underground, the fire won’t get it.

ADHD in a nutshell

what are you doing? Me: I’m eating a sandwich, doing my makeup, doing laundry, drinking my iced coffee, organizing my knitting stuff oh and I’m at work right now

nothing matters 🌈

There’s a reason USD sounds the same as you s d.

if there are twins it’s definitely okay to circumcise one and not circumcise the other. It really doesn’t matter because sexual mutilation consent when ur a baby is random and bizarre no laws just chaos. Right?

A “Meat tenderizer” is probably safer than a “fleshlight”. Btw I’m an expert on men’s bodies I know what is best for them, we should just outlaw fleshlights based on my top expert knowledge I know because I’m an expert.

@ConanOBrien happy birthday 🥳

why the fuck have I had a twitter account for over half my life

Chat GPT has already improved my life in many ways. As someone socially inept and always questioning what to do I can literally just ask Chat GPT and it will tell me the socially correct thing to do. 10/10

It’s 2023 so 20 minutes is a rational amount of time to turn on your pc and open like 5 apps, right? Oh no? My work pc is just a piece of shit? Cool

fun fact: THC can be stored in fat cells so if your body starts burning fat cells you can get high

Since when is being done at 12 noon with a soft possibility of going until 2 a hard going past 2

I will never understand people who stand for something but stand for it halfway. Someone at my job is asking if a shoe product is vegan. We don’t have this info. Shitty on my company, I admit. But we only sell shoes. Go to a company that only sells VEGAN shoes don’t support us.

bruh am I the only one noticing gen z taking to gore a little too much?

groceries are so fucking boring how the fuck am I expected to want to do shit like work and get groceries for the next several decades it’s boring af and not worth it

Physics literally defies itself on a daily basis in front of my eyes. Shit falls and hits me with 0 reason to have momentum to move or fall. 😊😊😊😊😊😊