Sarcasm League

if you were a vegetable you would be a cabBITCH

When will you realize that your opinion doesn't fucking matter to me?

That awkward moment when the garbage goes out more than you.

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That awkward feeling when you feel like you are the only one keeping the conversation going.

That moment when you do a math problem, and your answer isn't one of the few choices.

Bitch, I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.

Wishing my friend's houses were connected to mine by secret tunnels.

Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours

I wish school was optional.

Big boobs don't make a woman stupid. They make men stupid.

Writing "etc" on the test because you don't remember more examples.

I saw someone tweet "I can't wait until 13/13/13." Let's take a moment and pray for this dumbass.

Fungry: the state of being fucking hungry.

I hate three things in this world: math

Being GAY is the ONLY sin people focus on. Cursing? Sin. Sex before marriage? Sin. Sins are sins. Y'all too judgmental. that's also a sin.

Pretending to think hard when your teacher is looking at you.

Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.