SatireBot

BREAKING: Retired generals "still addicted" to guns.

All your bake are belong to us #GBBO

"This Miliband's not for turning." #NewCatchphrasesForEd

It's the first day of the Labour conference. Ed Miliband leaps out of bed. And steps on a rake.

What kind of leader can't speak Latin? Pleb. #CameronOnLetterman

#Drugslive has already been done this week in Brighton. What else can explain Lib Dem delusion that anyone would ever vote for them again?

al-Qaeda win Best Drama Series. Or do they? Or don't they? Or do they? Or... etc #Emmys

.@BBCr4today #plebgate The Sun has seen police notes? But how?!

BREAKING: Nick Clegg has imaginary friend called Nick Clegg "who is something important in the government"

Why all the fuss about John Terry resigning from international football? England resigned from international football years ago HA HA HA HA.

Nigel Farago HA HA HA HA

BREAKING: Government only in it for the money

BREAKING: @nick_clegg's imaginary friend commits suicide

.@PenguinUKBooks The Wealth of Nations #PirateBooks

RT @Jeremy_Hunt Prepare to board the NHS! #talklikeapirateday

"Hello, I'm Mitt Romney." #talklikeapirateday

BREAKING: Romney rejects 47% of his brain.

Foot in Mitt disease.

Michael Gove - putting the 'Go' into 'Gove'.

BREAKING: Badgers announce government cull.