Sebastian Maniscalco

My new special 'It Ain't Right' is out NOW on @hulu and @DisneyPlus #ItAintRight

What happens when you golf with a pediatrician, a cheesemonger, and a hockey player? Very strange group. One guy is asking me when my last doctor visit was. One guy’s got three types of cheese sweating in the cart. And one guy’s mad at the pace of play like we’re down 2 nothing in the third period I’m standing there with a driver like, what exactly is this outing? Am I getting a physical, building a charcuterie board, or about to get checked into a comfort station

In the 90s I was went from frat house president to waiting tables at the Four Seasons, doing stand-up at night and trying to figure out why people were acting like this.

I couldn’t tell if this was the Oscars or a gate at a budget airline.

you’ll never believe who the public defender is

I’ve been on SNL twice now, which sounds impressive until I tell you neither time was as the host. At this point, Harry and Marcello have logged more rehearsal time as me than I have. Both of them were hilarious and absolutely nailed it. Maybe the third time I come in and do it myself.

Listen, I love my family… but I’ve been home too long. When the quietest place in the house is a closet, you know it’s time to get back on the road. New shows are on sale today at sebastianlive.com March 13 + 14 - Las Vegas, NV @ Wynn Encore Theater April 17 - Bethlehem, PA @ Wind Creek Event Center  April 18 - Verona, NY @ Turning Stone Resort Casino May 23 + 24 - Las Vegas, NV @ Wynn Encore Theater August 14 - Wantagh, NY @ Northwell at Jones Beach Theater September 11 - Albuquerque, NM @ Sandia Resort & Casino September 12 - Lincoln, CA @ The Venue at Thunder Valley Casino September 17-20 - Atlantic City, NJ @ Ocean Casino Resort September 24-27 - Atlantic City, NJ @ Ocean Casino Resort November 19 + 20 - Hollywood, FL @ Hard Rock Live

When you told your wife you would cook dinner but she comes home to you in a smoke filled kitchen

In Italian culture you do not bring anyone home unless you’re getting married… I guess my prom date had to wait in the yard like a dog.

Presale tickets for my new shows in Wantagh, Albuquerque, Lincoln and Hollywood are available at 12pm local time today, using code “SEBASTIAN” sebastianlive.com

Don’t get me wrong. I respect anyone who trains for a marathon. However, try running in a marathon with 5 bags of groceries to go to the other side of the street. Now that’s an athlete.

New shows just announced - presale starts tomorrow at 12pm local time at sebastianlive.com August 14 - Wantagh, NY @ Northwell at Jones Beach Theater September 11 - Albuquerque, NM @ Sandia Resort & Casino September 12 - Lincoln, CA @ The Venue at Thunder Valley Casino November 19 + 20 - Hollywood, FL @ Hard Rock Live

My father spent so many years cutting hair, we thought he was going for a record.

I took a little time off, but I’m back and I’m fired up! This run is taking me to some of the nicest casinos in the country, and we’re going all in. Tickets to my new shows in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Bethlehem and Verona are on sale now at sebastianlive.com 3/13-3/14 - Las Vegas, NV 4/17 - Bethlehem, PA 4/18 - Verona, NY 5/23-5/24 - Las Vegas, NV 9/17-9/20 - Atlantic City, NJ 9/24-9/27 - Atlantic City, NJ

You never give your parents the real price. They’ll have a heart attack right there in your living room.

Presale tickets for my shows in Atlantic City, Verona and Bethlehem are available NOW using code "SEBASTIAN": sebastianlive.com

Nothing like a little carpool karaoke for this LA traffic. @JKCorden you have competition now

I took a little time off, but I’m back and I’m fired up. Verona, Bethlehem and Atlantic City - I’m back and I’m fired up. Presale starts Wednesday at 10am local time. See you soon

Back in Las Vegas in two weeks. Last time I hit a nightclub there… I’m pretty sure my hearing is still somewhere on the dance floor @WynnLasVegas

My Venmo balance after paying for the group dinner...

Thank you to @niaforg for the honor