MATT

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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 12 years, since 25 Aug 2010 (via @twi_age).

Well, it happened. I accidentally pressed my joke Amazon dash button that orders a Kia Sorento.

I just trying to be someone’s rainbow in their cloudy day

FRIDA KHALO IMPOSTER dartroom.xyz/nfts/asa/57669… Only on @_Dartroom #algo #AlgoNFT #NFT #supportsmallartists

@thehotelyear hey!!! I’m so hyped that after two years you’re still using that photo I drew as your profile cover! If you ever want more lemme know!!!

HER BROTHER WAS A JEDI, RIGHT. AND WHAT WAS HIS SISTER? A P R I N C E S S. THE AMBASSADOR FROM ALDERAAN BRO. YOURE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOURE GOING TO TELL ME THAT IM WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE KISSED HER BROTHER AND TOOK OFF IN THE MILLENNIUM FALCON, DOUG. GROW UP BRO. GROW UP.

Instead of saying Lmao (which is wack), say LSHMSFOAIDMT (which is hip and cool): Laughed So Hard My Sombrero Fell Off And I Dropped My Taco. Thank you for listening to my ted talk.

@EmmaNicole215 @carolynbrodyy Consider yourself reported.

@Serraaaano Yes @carolynbrodyy

Have you actually met anyone who writes their a’s like “ a “ ? Lmk, asking for a friend.

People still tie their shoes? It’s 2019, quadriple knot that shit and let’s go drink

No one: Kids in high school not invited to the party:

How do people still believe in a round earth? It’s 2019 for Christ’s sake

@_Mojo_Joe_Joe @davematthewsbnd Who tf listens to Dave Matthews ?

Do you call it pancakes or flapjacks, asking for a friend

You are my homemade mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy

Fun drinking game: staying so hydrated to the point you never leave the bathroom

To the man who watered down my mocha cappuccino: jokes on you, I can’t sleep either

Two slice