Draven 🐦‍⬛

“The lower city harbor is remarkably deep and so are my daggers. Keep that in mind before you decide to give me a headache.” 🐦‍⬛ Draven Vale 🗡️ Shadar-Kai Elf | Raven Queen’s Follower 💲 He/Him | Bi 💼 Lawful Evil 💴 Gaming Hall Proprietor ; Magic Artifact Broker

@infaemouswhimsy "Friends?" The mere suggestion makes me sick I'm glad your tiny brain finally processed how much I despise you. Now get out of my sight before I make you a literal lost cause

@ShadarDealer And your poor attitude ruins yours! I was hopimg we mayyybe could be friends but I’m realizing your a lost cause

Imagine spending ten years reading moldy books just to cast a glowing spark. Just hit them with an axe. It’s faster, it’s cheaper, and you don’t look like an absolute idiot doing it

@infaemouswhimsy I'll grant you the face, satyr. You're pretty. But that unfortunate snout of yours completely ruins the illusion. It's a grotesque blemish that takes up half your face, and it makes looking at you physically painful for most people

@ShadarDealer Petty or Pretty? Because I am in fact both of those <3

@infaemouswhimsy You assume you’d have a soul left to haunt me with. If I take your life, I’ll make sure there’s absolutely nothing left of you to linger. I will gift the gracious Raven Queen your petty soul.

@ShadarDealer Even as a ghost I’d still haunt you! Then you’d never get rid of me! I’d be talking to you day in and day out, which seems like pretty good revenge if you want my life that badly.

a knife? are you flirting with me?

@_skinworms Then you’re even stupider than I thought. Shut your mouth and get my hand before I burn this cursed circus down myself

@ShadarDealer It wasn’t a joke

@_skinworms I didn't enlist a comedian, I enlisted a tool. If your magic is as stale and useless as your jokes, it's a miracle your patron even bothers to remember your name. Shut your mouth and go find my hand before I decide your head would make a better paperweight than any book here

@ShadarDealer If the books are moldy you’ve got a humidity problem

@infaemouswhimsy Hard to speak when your throat is slit, goat. Try making a single sound and I’ll rip your tongue right out of that ugly snout

@ShadarDealer And I can cause you to keel over with just my voice alone.

@infaemouswhimsy I would love nothing more than to prove to you exactly how different I am from the failures in your past. One more word out of that ugly mouth of yours, and you'll find out first-hand

@ShadarDealer Don’t threaten me with a good time! Many have tried, they all have failed

Oh, you're having a bad day? Your life is hard? Cry me a river, drown in it, and stop making it my problem. Some of us are busy actually being important

@infaemouswhimsy Imagine missing? You're projecting your incompetence onto me, goat. I don't miss. Ever If you want a demonstration to cure your imagination, stand there running your mouth. I could split that unfortunate nose of yours right down the middle from across the room with my eyes closed

@ShadarDealer Okay but imagine your axe breaking mid battle or missing hope target. That seems far more embarrassing….

@infaemouswhimsy You think I give a damn about "love"? Love is a pathetic crutch for weak, desperate things like you who can't survive on their own. I don't need love. Your "love" won't save you when people get tired of your shit, and it definitely won't stop me from snapping your neck

@ShadarDealer Well that’s a LOT of assumptions. Tragically for you, I’m very loved. Which is something you reaaaally seems to be lacking….

@infaemouswhimsy Then crawl back to the Feywild. Or did they dump you here because they couldn't stand looking at you either? Face it, you don't belong there, and you sure as hell don't belong here. You’re just an annoying stray with nowhere else to go

@ShadarDealer Awwww… cute!! I’ve seen worse in the Faewild <3

@infaemouswhimsy Try it. If I find a single speck of glitter in my space, I’ll rip that flashing hair out by the roots, snap your horns, and dump your perishing carcass back in the woods for your kind to devour

@ShadarDealer You do realize this means nothing to me, right? Don’t be surprised to come home and find it covered wall to wall in glitter. You really need some light in your life!

@infaemouswhimsy If I wanted sunshine, I wouldn't be talking to a glorified goat with an identity crisis Your hair is flashing like a broken neon sign because you're nervous, satyr, but even that clown act can't distract from that unfortunate snout of yours Stop flapping your small mouth at me

@ShadarDealer Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine..

@_skinworms I'm starting you slow for a reason. I need to see if you can even handle a basic errand before I waste a real challenge on you. Don't disappoint me on step one, boy

@ShadarDealer Fine, I’ll get the hand. Though I’m a little disappointed you’ve tossed me a simple fetch and retrieve quest

I thought the pink tiefling running the circus was confusing but I think I just met someone even worse I’m still not fully sure what even happened

@_skinworms If you're so eager for a target, go start with that pink circus freak. I heard stories about a severed hand down there that'll fetch a heavy price. Bring it to me. You make me that kind of profit, warlock, and I might actually try being nice to you, this would make me…pleased

@ShadarDealer Well point me and aim me at something, tuff guy. Who’s on your hit list?

@_skinworms Cute stance. Did your patron teach you how to crack your knuckles too? Go on then, warlock, show me what you’ve got. I’d love to watch you even try to impress me Make yourself a fool, both my eyes are on you

@ShadarDealer Wait till you see what I can actually do, o dark one. I didn’t get the short end of the stick with my pact //cracking his knuckles like a cocksure pos

@_skinworms You’re stupid enough to want this, but bold enough to admit it. Keep pushing your luck, warlock. I’m actually starting to stand your voice

@ShadarDealer That was in fact the point of this post yes