Tom Salyers

"I've found a sunny patch. Must sleep in it." "I love you, buddy, but I'm trying to work, and there's not really room for you and my keyb--" "MUST. SLEEP. IN. SUNNY. PATCH."

This hasn’t aged well...

@cmcd_phd Sorry, I just now saw this. :( I mostly follow my other account these days. I should keep up with this one more.

Therapist: And what do we say about that kind of behavior? Me: it's technically not self-destructive if you survive it Therapist: no

"My piece exploded in the glory hole." COME ON.

Watching a reality show that's a glassblowing competition, and I am *constitutionally incapable* of not giggling like a twelve-year-old every single time they say the phrase "personal glory holes".

Just a mild techno-vent...one of the things that really irks me about #Java (especially the more enterprise-y bits) is that when anything goes wrong, you have to dig through a stack trace the length of a Bible to figure out what the hell went wrong. Give me #Python any day.

Tom Has Lived in the UK For Quite a Long Time, volume 57: *checks out part of Austin, Texas on Google Street View* "Huh. Why does that off ramp look so weird with the lights facing the wrong--oh. That's an on ramp, idiot. Traffic's on the right side, remember?"

The Netherlands? THE NETHERLANDS? (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ #Eurovision2019

Jesus, *I* could be up there with this level of autotune. #eurovision2019

....okay, second Eurovision crush of the evening: the Idan Raichel Project's female lead singer. #Eurovision2019

Our house has just voted for Iceland. #Eurovision2019

I can't decide if Spain is going for Hollywood Squares or an IKEA commercial. #Eurovision2019

Australia has spiky metal bits! DRINK! #Eurovision2019

Oh no oh no oh shit you guys someone should tell Switzerland his aspect ratios are all fucked up. #Eurovision2019

I'm kind of liking that more and more countries are bringing songs in their own languages. It's neat. #Eurovision2019

Azerbaijan's song is nice enough, but if I'm more focused on "Neat--I wonder how they programmed the robot arms", I submit to you that your staging is possibly detracting from your performance. #Eurovision2019

Belarus is one of those acts that if you held a gun to my head two minutes after it's done, I couldn't hum a single part of the song. #Eurovision2019

Poor, poor Estonia, having to follow Iceland. #Eurovision2019

I might have to vote for Iceland just on the basis of not being like everything else in the competition. #Eurovision2019