Centerfielder

Take me to Gods Country #Augusta

I had a fart this morning that smelled like a cigarette 🚬

✅ Achieved max level of uselessness today

Literally not doing a think all day

I love how literally the day I finish college some guy decides to take down the one system that has been running my life since middle school (canvas)

Someone has finally started making relatable content on IG

Looks immaculate

@EdgarJohnstone Eddy, same thing happened to me, my advice is to pop 2 mucinex, 400 mg of ibuprofen, and blast your nose with some Flonase. Get well soon

Getting sick my last week of college #justkillmetwin

J Press, summer 2026

Hitting a month long trip in Europe this summer with some buddies I’ll be feeling like Brad Pitt in Ocean’s 12

Showing up 20 minutes late to work with a huge ice cream cone

#OTD 2025 - Jon Gruden made my day! #HeyAugie #STLCards @BarstoolGruden

If you post an instagram “photo dump” and put a baby photo of you at the end of it, you deserve the electric chair

This guy will serve as my spirit animal later tonight

Currently monitoring the situation

This JP Morgan dude had it easy. My Jane Street interview consisted of 8 uninterrupted hours of eating box with a gun to my head.

The kind of guy who would call his wife “fish head with no cannons” while simultaneously blowing up his career

GOING FOR THE SWEEP AND 18-13 AGAINST SKENES. CHILLS. BIRDS.

Top 5 male footwear you should be ashamed to wear in public: 5. Any flops other than rainbow/olukai 4. Nike Blazers 3. Any form of Converse 2. Crocs (Grow tf up) 1. HeyDudes

JPMorgan’s leveraged finance meeting

white people be like this song was on the nhl 19 soundtrack