Sharon Stone's Ego

god damn this soothsayin-ass fortune-tellin-ass meme

I bet Anthony Wiener is running in New York because he loves the way Manhattans go down.

Were any of you aware that the GOT plot was spoiled when I read a book?! This is why chewing scenery is safer. I only read crap scripts now.

50-year-old dude driving a Nissan cube rolls by bumping Ace of Bass with the windows down. I wanna party with that guy.

@Filmdrunk I did the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct for them, but when I uncrossed my legs a cloud of dust came out.

I guess we should avoid suspicious boxes and packages. So no tranny hookers for you!

Time to wax. I'm seriously 50 shades of grey down there.

I hate the Doug Days of Summer. Stupid Doug runs through my sprinklers.

Damn it is late, but I cant sleep. Can I hire someone to do it for me?

Also, you wouldn't look great all the time if you had to simulate sex with Michael Douglas. Look at Catherine Zeta Jones.

About those pictures of me with no makeup. Of course I look bad, do you know how hard it is to find a virgin so I can bathe in their blood?

So many followers, so little lube.

It is only a small dildo closet!

Fired another housekeeper. Is it that hard to arrange the dildos in order of size?

Last day!!!! RT navigatetheworld.chipin.com/my-son-to-get-…

This is for a great cause, guys! One of my fans navigatetheworld.chipin.com/my-son-to-get-…

Happy Pi day? Did you all know you are spelling it wrong? I am so ashamed.

Will filling out these brackets help me get laid? I am asking for science, of course.