Simon Cowell

“Get a people carrier,” they said. So I did. This one was £15k cheaper than a Renault Espace. And it runs on Easter eggs. @ Egham instagram.com/p/CciY1T9DF68/…

You know you’ve been watching a lot of Downton Abbey when you add avocado to beans on toast and the beans don’t even go on the toast.

@Helena_Sedge “Never easy burpees. Never easy.” - Joe Wickes

Did burpees for the first time since giving birth today 😊🥵🥵

Latest weekly #blog Simon-Cowell.com 🧀 🏰

This little piggy got culled, This little piggy got culled, This little piggy had roast beef (kind of weird), This little piggy had none, anyway, he was culled. This little piggy went ... Wee, wee, wee, all the way home (then got culled)! Sad times. Sort it out #BorisJohnson.

2.89bn people breathe a sigh of relief as fb comes back online. Let the scrolling recommence. #facebookdown

No queues at all! (Because all 5 stations empty). I guess we missed the boat and we shall wait for the army to get us moving again.

Driving to get petrol at 3am (otherwise it’s not possible), so we can take our newborn to hospital tomorrow. I hope that is not classed as #panicbuying. Thankfully our baby is a good 3am alarm clock ⏰

Just posted a photo @ Nanjizal Beach instagram.com/p/CFK_oEdDaVF/…

@TheMontyDon RIP Nigel xx

Thanks to all that have sent so many lovely and kind messages about Nigel. It has meant a great deal. I have posted many more pictures of him on my website montydon.com. He is now in the garden and of the garden and we will celebrate his good life by living well.

Secret Diary of a Job Hunter Have you lost your job this year? I’m sure like myself, many of you have. Or maybe you’ve been furloughed? These are uncertain times for everyone. simon-cowell.com/2020/05/secret… #covid19 #creativity #copywriting #careerchange

If this dog is having puppies anytime soon please DM me! 🇬🇧🤞#doggoals #mansbestfriend #goldenretreiver

How to Earn Extra Money in the UK: 75 Ways to Make Extra Cash boostmybudget.com/how-to-earn-ex… via @@BoostMyBudget

Final blog of this trip "Dunedin – the city where men come first" simon-cowell.com 🇦🇺 @Tourism_Dunedin @Helena_Sedge #travelblog #haircut #dunedin #bloke #mencomefirst #jokes

It was a Wonderful Life #MakeAFilmLessInteresting

Latest blog "It’s a dangerous world out there" #stayathome simon-cowell.com #travelblog #satire Just waiting on a suitable flight home now... We appreciate your efforts @UKinNZ 🇦🇺✈️🇬🇧 @Helena_Sedge

@ukinaustralia @VickiTreadell @qatarairways "We will get you home" (and we will take all your money and then some in the process) - Prices start at £11,000 I may have @SimonCowell 's name, but I don't have his money! See you in a while then 🇬🇧

@qatarairways departing from Melbourne/Perth/Sydney via Doha. 10% off for those travelling home: bit.ly/3dlGclL

2/3 We understand the following routes are still running. This is a difficult time and websites are experiencing a large amount of traffic. Please persevere.

Currently stuck in NZ for the foreseeable future post Covid-19 lockdown announcement today. All airlines phones automatically disconnect and cannot get through to the High Commission @UKinNZ. Please can someone get in contact from @FCOtravel to help myself + 100s stranded?

New 🇯🇵 blog - Naked Bath - Enjoying the similarities I see from @MrJamesMay #ourmaninjapan on @PrimeVideo @Helena_Sedge @Workaway @goodspaguide @kirororesort #onsen #japantravel simon-cowell.com