Soul in Silhouette

I MADE A CHICKEN SALAD LAST NIGHT. APPARENTLY THEY PREFER GRAIN.

If your religion compares a narcissistic pedophile con man to Jesus, you need a new religion.

We are living in a time where evil is fully exposed and people still refuse to see it.

Hey Americans, I might be a know-nothing Brit, but I can't help thinking that arresting your president for raping kids might be a better idea than letting him collapse the global economy and possibly end the world. Just a suggestion.

Republicans cherry-pick the Constitution like Christians cherry-pick the Bible.

Those paper towels near the gas pump are for you to wipe away your tears.

Coffee was just voted the best drink in the nation. It was an unfair vote, there were absent tea ballots

Janitors are more important than billionaires. Plumbers are more important than billionaires. Nurses are more important than billionaires.

Hey World, You remember when you did that Nuremberg thing? Yeah, we need you to do that again.

Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh

Talk is cheap. A picture is worth a thousand words. Those words add up, so that's why paintings are so expensive.

Some asshole just called me feckless when I got so many fecks it's ridiculous. Like at least 1,800 fecks and whatnot.

Everything is ship-shape.

All the world is a stage and I missed rehearsal.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Microwaves be like: Here's your hot plate of cold spaghetti.