Simon Smith

Today was audition #13 0 capes, crowns or character hugs (so far). But unlimited determination. @DisneylandParis - any chance you could give @imothelimo a job before audition #14? ✨

@sima_kotecha Not sure your use of the word "impacted" is a wise choice for your BBC website headline on the Air India plane crash.

@JuliaDavisNews Who wants to know how tariffs end? Anyone? Anyone? This clip is made even more ironic by the fact that the actor, Ben Stein, is a well known Trump supporter. youtube.com/shorts/AhujdAf…

Amber? Champion of champions for a set cream dessert? Do me a favour. I can pretty much guarantee that every single one of the chefs at the banquet voted for one of the two dishes served by @delportjean. #greatbritishmenu

@JuliaDavisNews It's done already!

In short order, Trump and his cohorts will have America more hated by the world than Russia. x.com/Andrew__Roth/s…

@JeremyClarkson very much looking forward to your opinion of the @Jaguar rebrand!

@Eng_Woman Why?! You only need 4 an over. Have done for the last 20 overs. Stop trying to hit boundaries. It's not necessary for heaven's sake!

@JuliaDavisNews Hmm. That must have been one hell of a creative meeting: "How do we get more people to sign up for the army?" "I know, let's make an advert that mentions death. A lot!" "Great idea tovarishch. More vodka?"

Some of the advertisements seeking mercenaries and volunteers to join Putin's invasion of Ukraine are now followed by this war promo clip, featuring Putin, Lenin, Stalin and Peter the Great, alongside the visual cacophony of Soviet and religious imagery. youtube.com/watch?v=PRJ0uE…

@joeybill18 Is this one of those phishing messages?

"I was thinking will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster then a shark?”

@mischiefcomedy @JonathanSayer1 @PeterPanBway No. You can't be Henry the third!

HM Government: Farmers must diversify. WODC: Farmers must not diversify under any circumstances. Well done everyone. @JeremyClarkson

@JeremyClarkson I get that it's not you that needs the income, it's the farm and the businesses associated with it that do. Why can the planning committee not see this? Idiots.

@RMTunion Just walked past Tonbridge station. Really disappointed that there aren't any members outside picketing the station. Very poor. Do you want this or not?

@JuliaDavisNews Wait. What?! He's for the legal punishment of all those people who've committed violence in Ukraine. That'll be the entire Russian regime then. Do they actually ever listen to what they are saying!?

Meanwhile in Russia: accused war criminal Zakhar Prilepin—who spends a lot of time on the frontlines and previously boasted of "killing many" in Ukraine—admits that Russia wants to negotiate merely to regroup and finish fighting later, any potential peace accords notwithstanding.

Great to see @bryony_corrigan in The Walk In. Sadly there was still mischief, and it still went wrong for her character. Some things never change. #mischieftheatre #actorsoutofcontext

I've no doubt that what we are fed by the Western media contains an element of pro-Ukrainian propaganda. But I would be very surprised if it was as bad as what Russians are being asked to believe. Try following @JuliaDavisNews if you would like to see what I mean.

@DunkyJP Moscow?

Guess where?? 🤔🤔

@illustratealpha Reported. Nil desperandum.

Please take 10 seconds to report this.

Love this @lucyportercomic. Well said. bbc.co.uk/news/entertain…

I would politely urge the Conservative party to a v quick succession process. We need a working administration at speed. This Winter will be catastrophic, pushing millions into poverty with typical energy bills rising to £3,000/yr. We need leaders in office taking action asap.