Simpsons Quotes

I went to a wedding yesterday and this was what the officiant was wearing. #TheSimpsons #Stonecutters #ItsaSecret

Oh! I think we hit something. - I hope it's Flanders. #TheSimpsons #SkinnersSenseofSnow

Slow down. The sidewalks for regular walking not for fancy walking. #TheSimpsons #WhoShotMrBurnsPartTwo

Have the Rolling Stones killed. - Oh, sir, those aren’t — Do as I say! #TheSimpsons #Rosebud

Sir. Uh, hello, sir. Yes. You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife... Ow! #TheSimpsons #GrampavsSexualInadequacy

#TheSimpsons #AStarIsBurns

♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪ ♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪ ♪ You don’t win friends with salad ♪ #TheSimpsons #LisatheVegetarian

♪ I am so smart! I am so smart! ♪ ♪ I am so smart! I am so smart! ♪ ♪ S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-R-T ♪ #TheSimpsons #HomerGoestoCollege

Seymour, the house is on fire! - No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights. - - Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say, you steam a good ham. #TheSimpsons #22ShortFilmsAboutSpringfield

Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-2. We had to say ‘dickety,’ ‘cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty.’ I chased that rascal to get it back but gave up after dickety-six miles. #TheSimpsons #RagingAbeSimpsonandHisGrumblingGrandsoninTheCurseoftheFlyingHellfish

This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few “yes” or “no” questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand? - Yes. #TheSimpsons #TheSpringfieldFiles

I sleep in a racing car. Do you? - I sleep in a big bed with my wife. #TheSimpsons #AMilhouseDivided

We’re talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N. - SEX CAULDRON? - I thought they closed that place down. #TheSimpsons #GradeSchoolConfidential

Hi. It’s me again. I got another problem. Uh, this one’s about my cat. (meowing) Yeah! Shut up!! I’m asking her. #TheSimpsons #InMargeWeTrust

Tell me more. I want to know all the constellations. - Well, there’s… Jerry the cowboy. - And that Big Dipper-looking thing is Alan the cowboy. #TheSimpsons #BrotherfromtheSamePlanet

This is even more painful than it looks. #TheSimpsons #BrotherfromtheSamePlanet

Homer, where did you get that? - Get what? That giant donut. - Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that. #TheSimpsons #TreehouseofHorrorVI

Uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snider. - Is that bad? Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog. - You did? Replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly” and the word “dog” with “son.” #TheSimpsons #MargeinChains

Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. (meow) I’m learnding. #TheSimpsons #LisaGetsanA

Wow. Classy. - Good evening, sir. - Would you please leave without a fuss right now? Okay. #TheSimpsons #FearofFlying