Steven W Skinner

"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped

Being a Navy officer is an admiralble career choice

Hangin' out at the Lincoln Memorial because I love chiseled Abes!

How many times have I started a song?Probably five, six, seven, eight

Every electrician still gets to work from ohm

No one has ever shopped at the Darién GAP

If Satan logged on to Pitchfork dot com to “find reviews” he would be sorely disappointed

The Beatles are kind of like pancakes because there’s Sir Paul …over them

I could kick your ass at solitaire

If it’s so scary wouldn’t it be called the Haunt-a-virus?

Wyoming is the only state that sounds like its questioning the 2002 Houston Rockets first round draft pick

FRIEND: “See you later Alligator!” ME: “...Caiman”

A tweet only a Mother could fav

Do you text your mother with those thumbs?!

"WAKE Ya ass! WASH yourself!" - Mystikal's mom

“Take a look at me now! Mom! Take a look at me now! Take a look at me now! Take a look at me now!” - Phil Collins, age 4

NO ONE: MY MOM:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya bud ?

When the Utah Jazz play it's more about the shots they aren't making

Who called it ‘a church’ and not ‘God complex’?