Steven W Skinner

"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped

Did a Fool write this?

What’s Aladdin’s favourite pasta? Fettu-GENIE!

If I worked at The Pitt I would probably eventually wonder why something crazy happens right at the top of each hour

The only thing he couldn’t host…was love

I’m so addicted to this history game I’m doomed to repeat it

So, if there are no further questions…are there any NEARER questions?

Is it Armageddon yet? Cause Armageddon REAL tired of this crap!

‘Don’t embellish da relish’ and other fun sayings I made up

When you open the camera and it’s forward facing

Moved my clocks forward and they fell off the shelves

Sending my Tim Hortons hockey cards in for PSA grading

“I think we’re going to play ‘broken telephone’ today” “That’s not what I heard”

“Baby Jane D’Oh!” - Homer on the Pitt

[date] me *quietly*: don't let her know you miss the late winters of your childhood her: so- me: ah, the way the water flowed under the snow

Curling is mainly trying to get your opponents rocks off

*Cupid waking up just now, stumbling out of cloud* “Oh shit oh fuck”

“Actually, it’s SAINT Valentine’s Day”

HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress...it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"

This chef at the brunch buffet is giving me the crêpes

Took a sound bath but forgot to get behind my ears and between my toes