Slap “The Captain” Jack Daniels

Take this liberals

I guess they don’t want Ol’ Cap walking through this park. #bidensamerica

Highschool sophomore year JV baseball gc got fired up last night by the quiet guy that didn’t play much and he told us how much us and that season meant to him #expand

@TSJbargirl Happy Thursday! Glad to see you celebrated it right Backdoor. Cheers, The Cap

Happy Thursday gentleman

Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue! #FuckIran

@dahmersburner Dahmer, Thanks for the tip. Best wishes, The Captain

Is this the best way to write my final paper in 3 hours? Any other methods please let me know

@BrianGriffjr My honest reaction to being reminded of this. Insane pull Junior. Thanks for making my day. Sincerely, Cap

Take me back to middle school when I saw this for the first time

@TSJbargirl The way it should be!

All white everything

@tugN_wouldya Pigpen, Wishing you the best on your upcoming interview. Walk in there like you own the room and let that thing sit on the table. Sincerely, The Captain

Double collared and a lil nervous before an interview. Need a little something to take the edge off

@GregoryBlanch Greg, The radical left just hates to see a fly white guy like you. Don’t let them rain on your parade. Wishing the best, The Captain

Moments before Greg got kicked off for having a “cooler full of beer.” Since when can a white boy not drink while golfing?

Is this peak life? #neverkillyourself

@TSJbargirl Terrance, Appreciate the shoutout! Good song choice as well. I know if I was a beer in Nashville I’d be shitting bricks right about now. Slap

Shoutout @SlapJackDaniels

Gonna be a bad weekend to be an ice cold beer in Nashville

@GregoryBlanch Greg, I never tip no matter what, be grateful I even ordered and gave you money in the first place. Slap

@SlapJackDaniels Slap, Please tell me you didn’t tip. Greg

Someone let this white boy catch a vibe

@klintkubiak504 Klint, Paying your book is something you should never do. Wishing you a better week next week, The Cap

Yah mom, schools going great! I owe my bookie a Mexican families yearly income and I just bought a plan b with a wad of 1s.

Can confirm Sunglasses method is the best thing out right now Think I’m just blocking the sun out? Nope, I’m staring at every ass I see! Whoever put me on this thanks for #LANK

Just got shit on by a bird, thinking about killing myself

It’s a good day to have a good day Never kill yourself #Lank #Expand

@uncle_boofus7 Boof, I didn’t want to slap her because that would have taken away my drinking privileges for the flight. Maybe if I had a few more in me I would have.

@SlapJackDaniels Did you slap her?…..