Snake Plissken

@LBC @IainDale If you saw the behaviour of kids in school you wouldn't grudge them a single minute of time off

'Look at all the half terms and bank holidays they get off!' This caller debates with @IainDale over the workload of teachers.

@VincentStops Bikes are silent...pedestrians mainly use their hearing to cross roads its a difficult situation to say who's to blame...bike guy could have braked instead of mounting pavement tho

I have been asked to demonstrate how some cyclists disregard pedestrians at bus stops they cycle through.

@theSNP @MhairiBlack I'm happy to ignore her

🔥 @MhairiBlack: “If the UK government are happy to run roughshod over the Scottish Parliament, they’re proving that their claim that the Scottish Parliament is the most powerful devolved parliament in the world is drivel.”

@CelticFC Whos that?

Debut 🔓 Clean sheet 🔓 #CELSTM | #cinchPrem | #COYBIG🍀

@robertwlk Oh yeah i get it... it works if you pronounce battery in a strange way with more emphasis on the bat

Robin: The batmobile won’t start. Batman: Check the battery. Robin: What’s a tery?

@MarinaPurkiss Especially among the over 65s peados to whom he's a fine example

Jesus Christ “Harry and his wife Meghan are now so disliked by older Britons that their ratings are worse than the Duke of York’s (Prince Andrew) among the over-65s.” thetimes.co.uk/article/harry-…

@PhilArnold4 A bot tweets

@LesleyRiddoch @time_scotland With energy prices so high!...nah I'll open the fridge door

There is “no desire in Scotland for EU membership” says Scotland Secretary Alister Jack. Best way to prove him wrong? Get the Lights On for Scotland's return to Europe - in your house, in the landscape & in front of Scotparl on Brexit anniversary 31 Jan 6pm. @time_scotland

@kathryn62271860 @JulieSparkles88 @AngryScotland Thats right...she was bursting to go full on racist but something deep in her pea brain was cautioning her not to

@JulieSparkles88 @AngryScotland Of course it was racism. Why you defending her? Why would she say ' you black man'? What was the point? You can tell she is holding herself back- just. She then say ' that's why you ( lot) get a reputation'.

@DannyLikesTV I cant tell if your an idiot or a fukkin idiot

@LanaWolfUK Seems legit

@PhilArnold4 @BullMcCaffrey You seem to be one of those people who are never right about anything at all ever. It's admirable.

@BullMcCaffrey @PhilArnold4 I don't think he's young, I think he's just one of those people who use childish nicknames, a bit like Trump

@PhilArnold4 Sorry...I didnt notice you were 12 years old, good luck with your exams

@cadere_in @TheSun @JeremyClarkson Luckily people who aren't fukkin morons disagree

@LanaWolfUK It certainly is a mystery

@rockthumper @BullMcCaffrey @clairesweeney Did you?...Did it help?

@BullMcCaffrey @clairesweeney Jesus. Really?

Oh my how sexy is @clairesweeney in Richard Osman's House of Games?! So elegant.

Dear #WhiskySanta, please may you put @DLaingWhisky Big Peat Halloween from @MasterofMalt under my tree? I've been really good this year! masterofmalt.com/asksanta/whisk…

@FirstScotland The Service 1, 8.12 Camelon Sheriff Court to Denny never turned up with no service update...which is presumably why the 8.51 Denny to Maddiston is now not in operation

@TraceyColemanP3 I cant tell if you're putting them on or taking them off...but whichever it is I'm pretty sure thers an easier way of doing it

@JackHill0101 @TraceyColemanP3 Don't be ridiculous

@TraceyColemanP3 I love you Tracey