Mike

That time of year where my allergies feel like a lobotomy.

Crazy the massive slice of cheesecake I just ate would probably kill a Victorian child

Big iron on my hip

If we’re living in a simulation can I get like 200k spawned into my bank account? Please and thank you

My name is Mike short for Michaelwave

Shout out post ride fancy sodas

Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to animals. Don’t be an entitled prick.

I fear I am chopped AND unc

@ajstortz Got me wanting to SUCK

BOUGHT A GIANT BAG OF DUM DUM LOLLIPOPS AND JUST STARTED HANDING THEM OUT TO COWORKERS AND CUSTOMERS, EVERYBODYS SUCKING IN MY STORE

@crybbxmico All I need to be happy is carbohydrates

@Snaxxxzilla ur so real for this

I’ve been thinking about this 1 pound pretzel for the past year since I last had it.

Just wanna play magic with the boys

I am a big fan of New Jersey Michael’s submarine sandwich establishment

This shit lyin’ I’m in the trenches

“Bazooka” gotta be top 5 words of all time

Me when Killswitch Engage is playing in the car

Gotta go fast 💨

Really feeling the urge to put my head in the microwave on the baked potato setting.

Lost my 600 dollar cycling computer gunna shove my finger in an outlet