Rev. Dr. Jacuzzi Toblerone

"Mommy, there's a monster under my bed!" "Shh," Billy Joel whispers, "I'm no monster, I'm the PIANO MAN!" The boy screams.

@_uncoolniece The song is about a school shooter and nobody caught that. It says it in the very audible lyrics, and nobody thought twice about playing it EVERYWHERE.

See to me it’s just a continuation of growing up when the ubiquitous adult contemporary songs were about like, double suicide on a road trip or a woman burning down her house

@GarlicCorgi @veggiebat_ Your mind.

@veggiebat_ Where is it?

first nerve map of the clitoris just dropped

@GeneFrienby @CharlemagnumPI This is why Pluto is not a planet. Look at the orbit and not one dwarf planet, at least 5(!) share similar orbital characteristics. So either all of them are planets or they remain dwarf planets. They are on separate planes from the ecliptic, so not main planets.

@CharlemagnumPI i'm of the opinion ceres is a planet then. like, what are we even doing. we can just have another dozen or so planets. i'm sure it's just some boomer nostalgia thing, but this is so silly

why

@_carlbeijer @jtalexander It was explicitly meant for situations in which an enemy was subdued and had surrendered or treatment of civilians, not combat operations where both parties are armed. "Just obeying" orders at a "labor" camp was not the same as being a gunner on the front.

@jtalexander Yeah for sure man, ignorantia juris non excusat is totally a liberal thing. Obama invented it to push the gay agenda on you somehow and it worked

Hot Take: The "Nuremberg Defense" should be completely legally valid because it was for the entirety of human history until the Nuremberg Trials. The idea that the average GI Joe has the knowledge and capability to parse the legality of orders in life-and-death situations is one of the best examples of how Liberalism simply does not comport with reality. Every lawyer knows this to be true, too. Ask any number of attorneys a question on a matter of law and if the question is worth a damn you'll get as many answers as participants. All good legal questions start with the same answer: "It depends." If you can't even get a team of attorneys to always agree on whether something is legal, with hours to days to weeks of research put into the question, why/how do you expect a normal joe to figure that out? You don't. He can't. You know that. You just want to inspire doubt, raise mutiny, and have a way to punish people who did things you don't like on the orders of someone out of your reach.

@CharlemagnumPI @thocpodcast I should be offended, but that dumb bastard is going to kill somebody, you don't ever no look shoot (BASIC firearms safety). Sit there grinning and nodding until the beard gets caught in the mechanism. I get it, though.

@thocpodcast Hey. HEY. yeah all right.

Idaho - the Alabama of the north.

@CarlOrkmansen @souljagoyteller Bradbury, but I would start with short stories, then you can figure what kind of prose and subgenres you actually like. Harlan Ellison, Asimov (hard scifi), Dan Simmons, Greg Bear, Seanan Maguire (check spelling), Sturgeon, HG Wells.

@souljagoyteller Vernor Vinge, Expanse books, Zelasny, Gene Wolfe, Neal Stephenson

What’s a good entry point into literary science fiction. It all feels so impenetrable to me. For reference, the closest I’ve delved into the genre is Vonnegut

@pivstri @HabsburgLip The keys here are aerodynamics, they need a drafting partner and some coordination on speed, you can't compete with the distance of the spread, the tips uh, need to nearly be touching. I know what I just said but it applies here.

no super clipping no tyre saving no artificial overtakes no battery just straight wheel to wheel racing

@Sturgeons_Law The answer for every single person who likes to wear jeans, is Apple Bottom jeans. Yes, that includes Jay Leno. I know people may disagree, but accept it because it do be like that.

Bowlegged jeans make you look like you’re about to draw in a shootout with Yosemite Sam

@SjogrensForum @LemonSturgis The govt has to spend less money on benefits over time (seriously, this is what libertarians (most of Trump's economic policy is based around that ideology) believe), the goal is that the sick die to free up benefits for those who are "worth" more. It is sick.

@LemonSturgis What is the end game....

Trump's NIH has gutted research into the diseases most likely to kill you or someone you love. Here's the damage👇 • 116 cancer research grants terminated or frozen, worth $273 million • 255 fewer new cancer grants funded in 2025 compared to 2024, a 12% decline • Duke lost nearly $20 million for brain cancer treatment research. Brain cancer is the leading cause of cancer-related death in children under 15. • Duke lost a separate $20.8 million grant for next-generation cancer treatments, including tumor vaccines. Terminated. • MD Anderson lost $9 million in ovarian cancer research. Ovarian cancer kills 13,000 American women per year. • The Pediatric Brain Tumor Consortium, 26 years of clinical trials for children with brain tumors, was defunded. Enrollment in ongoing trials has been paused. • A UCLA scientist had his T-cell cancer immunotherapy research suspended. Even after reinstatement, the uncertainty forced him to scale back and prepare to end his work. • 65 Alzheimer's research grants terminated or frozen, worth $94 million • 357 fewer new Alzheimer's grants funded in 2025 compared to 2024, a 33% decline, the steepest of any disease area • 14 of 35 NIH-funded Alzheimer's Disease Research Centers saw approximately $65 million in funding halted • Approximately 1,000 grants worth an estimated $600 million were delayed after the cancellation of National Advisory Council on Aging meetings • A 35-year Johns Hopkins study tracking individuals from childhood to midlife to identify Alzheimer's risk factors was terminated. A generation of irreplaceable data, destroyed. • A Midwestern physician-scientist with 13 years as a principal investigator and over 100 publications saw two major NIH grants end. In their words: "I am very concerned that I will not be able to continue in this line of work." • 72 diabetes research grants terminated or frozen, worth $99 million • 168 fewer new diabetes grants funded in 2025 compared to 2024, a 16% decline • Stanford lost a $2.7 million grant testing whether home food deliveries improved outcomes for diabetes patients. Terminated. • 67 heart disease research grants terminated or frozen, worth $95 million • 183 fewer new heart disease grants funded in 2025 compared to 2024, a 13% decline • Johns Hopkins lost an $18.9 million grant funding strategies to reduce heart health disparities. Terminated.

@ethnicohioan Dillon Brooks is a crime to watch and a cry for help

@TheStalwart @getfiscal I don't see what Electric Light Orchestra has to do with speeches but treat yourself, I guess, player?

Kinda mixed feelings about using AI. For writing it’s definitely bad. But I think it’s totally fine to use an LLM to gauge which of two (anonymized) FOMC speeches is more hawkish (macro context dependent) and repeat that thousands of times to derive an ELO-like score for each.

@amanduh_curran Missed it live looking forward to their entry into lunar orbit though.

@Cryptadamist @JayShams Swiss, Saudi, iirc

@JayShams > "passports with the disgraced financier's photo under different names" wait, what names? is this just the fake austrian passport from the 1980s or were there more?

FBI agents used a chainsaw to open Jeffrey Epstein's metal safe in his Manhattan mansion. They found hard drives, diamonds, and files inside. But they left them behind. Didn't seize them for another 5 days. What happened in that 5-day period? Now we know. 🔗 in next tweet

@HabsburgLip The officer would probably call for a supervisor because that is sovereign citizen nonsense. The part about the officer being "left silent" is a lie. They are not on the road to argue with dipshits.

@getfiscal @CogentCEO They knew right away, most people with any exposure were ill, hair loss, burns, some were blinded, severe hemorrhage cases, anemic, etc. There is a way to calculate exposure dose/rate but that's not for a "romance" novel.

@CogentCEO They are asking for their hockey romance novel they are writing that also takes place in World War II Hiroshima

An average American trying to imagine how a person would react to their city being obliterated, friends and family killed

@Sturgeons_Law @diet_pepis Spoiler alert: there needs to be a counterparty that is empowered by the state to negotiate, by the assassination of diplomats the US and Israel have indicated they do not want to negotiate in good faith and are not trustworthy. It is that simple.

@Sturgeons_Law @diet_pepis Traditionally, diplomats have been off-limits, those are the negotiators, the people who murdered them were often executed for it. Because it is a fundamental breach of decorum and deliberately causes escalation. The country who loses the diplomat now has no reason to negotiate.

This is a feature of Trump-Israeli warfare that doesn't get enough attention. It's dishonorable & extreme even by the conventional standards of premodern warfare.

@sobebyf @MorePerfectUS @WSJ Why would they? Too volatile, too much risk, and depending on the crypto assets potentially just fraud (misrepresenting future income to get access to a larger pool of funds for a mortgage) with the added expectation of a federal bailout, absolutely disgusting.

@MorePerfectUS @WSJ How does something sound volatile guarantee a loan? PMIs will definitely not insure these loans.

BREAKING: Fannie Mae says it will start accepting crypto-backed mortgages, per @WSJ. The mortgage-finance giant will let home buyers pledge their crypto holdings when getting a mortgage. Fannie is backed by the government and overseen by the Federal Housing Finance Agency.

@dwdavison That is highly impractical, in a suitcase? Sure, but a vest? No, you need very special conditions in order to have enough material that comes together in such a way that the explosives around it don't blow it apart prior to the desired criticality. A vest would be obvious.

Imagine: a lone Iranian walks quietly, unnoticed, into a crowded market or shopping mall, his finger on an imperceptible trigger. An ordinary suicide bomber? Perhaps. But what if, just what if, this Iranian actually has a 450 kt W88 warhead shoved up his rectum? What then libs???

@swaggyunc It really would be a terrible existence post conflict and it would take decades (if not longer) for the climate to start to warm again and some plants to grow that are not going to be stunted and potentially "hot"

@Spammyjazzhands This is just reaffirming my resolve to be under the bomb

Nope I’d rather be directly under the bomb and get that shit over with thanks though