𝔹𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕎𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕆𝕟𝔸𝔹𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕊𝕜𝕪🦋

Can finally reveal the latest bit of artwork now that it's been received by its lovely new owner. She will always be a Wildflower to me 🪻

My baking is getting out of hand... I present you... This monstrosity.

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

@sarky_sheena Tweet of the month

If I went to space I’d get my bum out, press it up against the window and shout look, it’s a full moon. I’d ruin the experience for everyone but I know deep down they’d be laughing inside.

Katy Perry kissing the ground after 11 minutes in space, to be fair, I’ve considered doing the same after returning back from an equally long voyage to the Wetherspoons toilets.

@kevmsmith81 @RReynoldsAuthor You're so adorable 😍🥰 love you too xxx

@RReynoldsAuthor I should tag her really 😂 @Spannerzz - love you!! x

Have you met someone from TwiXter? Care to share your story?

@kevmsmith81 Very cynical 😂

Some may say I'm a bit cynical 😂#SaintsFC

More @kevmsmith81 wisdom... "There's more chance of me sucking my own cock than Southampton getting three points tonight... And you've witnessed my lack of flexibility" Love this man 😂

@kevmsmith81 This is true.

She's the kind of girl who is confident enough to shit in a workplace bathroom without a care as easy as if she were reapplying lipstick. What a psycho.

@kevmsmith81 😂😂😂.... nope

@Spannerzz Well, even so...... If you've gotta go, you've gotta go!

@Spannerzz Hippopotamus!

Hippopotatomus! @kevmsmith81 !!

@kevmsmith81 Note: it's not me😂😂 I'd be horrified

@Spannerzz 😂😂

@sarky_sheena Mine sends me on a spiralling adventure that leads to some sort of horrid death. It's a hobby.

I’ll never not find it weird that every night I go to sleep and my mind makes up a little film for me to feature in.

@sarky_sheena I've just bought a fourth pair. It's a shameful, frivolous expense but I needed them

Guys, I’ve only gone and bought some Dr.Martens. I can’t begin to tell you how long I have wanted some, but never been able to justify spending that amount of money. Despite now feeling incredibly guilty for buying myself something nice, I’m ready for the pain & the blisters.

Why are the people advertising mobile games always so bad at them?

Amid the sallows lives a poison Fool stumbling merrily A rehearsed skit A dirty Designed only to alter Cats and pigeons alike, Set to murder Oh, the absence of truth Mellow shithousery at best All that is gained From such endeavours Their faces never shone In our light

You know when you try on an outfit, thinking it’s going to look banging, but then you realise you look like a bag of potatoes and it’s probably best that you never go out and meet real people. Oh you don’t, well good for you.

@kevmsmith81 I can see the therapy session transcript now...

@Spannerzz That totally made his day 😂

Sincere apologies to the Amazon delivery man. Apparently my right boob took a dive for freedom...