Sparko (Mark MacKintosh)

“I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” Unbelievably it was that kind of gag by Bob Monkhouse that led to an episode of BBC’s The Repair Shop being pulled after a TV production employee took offence to an alleged “ sexist” joke. The hardback archives of Monkhouse’s handwritten joke books, dating back to 1960s, were bought in for repair by the comic’s adopted daughter and his old writing partner. In a tribute to the comic, who died in 2003, footage of the restoration was due to be aired this year. But the BBC axed the segment after a member of the production company Ricochet complained about one of the gags. I would like to know the identity of that employee. He or she has robbed many of us of a decent bit of television. Rare enough on the BBC I couldn’t give a toss if they were upset about the gag. Monkhouse will have bought a damned sight more pleasures to the world than this employee ever will.

I am drinking to the death of one the planet’s most evil men. Deliberate oppressor of women. Murderer of innocents. Enemy of freedom everywhere. May he rot in hell.

Not enough is made of the fact that 'Lord of the Flies' is a genuinely terrible book. Almost unreadable. We inflict it upon kids and seem shocked when they don't like reading. If you gave boys airport thrillers with exploding speedboats on the cover, they'd be much happier.