madison

God will put you back together right in front of the people that broke you

so my neighbor and i both had mouse sightings this week. here’s how our landlord responded:

The anxious ADHD urge to be incredibly clean in common spaces but have your room look like a storage room and a landfill had a kid

Lmao, honestly sometimes people deserve a good ole fuck you.

@Strike2Joyde @Seth_Harrell1

bro got on welding gloves just to touch it. i am not eating this shit

Imagine an episode of The Office where they all have to get vaccinated

“Oh I’ve actually been vaccinated for about 3 months now. Side effects weren’t too bad but I’ve been convincing Dwight that I’m slowly turning into a zombie. I started off groaning and pretending I didn’t notice it. Now I just Google brains and stare at them. . .hungrily.”

Once you find that one person in life where you want to wake up every morning and become a better person not only for yourself but for them. Hold onto them, I promise it’s going to make for one hell of a life, and I’m glad I found mine so early on.

@Hoodville_ @HaileyBuckley4

@AlyssaBivens Bring me chic fil a

will someone get sushi with me tomorrow

I have a disease called it’s nice out so I’m drinking

@allenkaid_8 I’m never going there again

I’m about 5 drinks in and if I don’t end up at the tiddy bar by the end of the night imma be upset.

@kyler_krebs and I just saw a guy SWEEPING THE GRASS. WHAT THE F

I’m sending @AlyssaBivens free nudes for her birthday!! ❤️❤️

@mackattack64 @slick18rick85

"I'm going to be backup for Maddie's dad... I'm just used to it"- Alex ☠️😂😂😂@Springsteen015

@mackattack64 @alexfrey01

I Pranked my mom into thinking I got hired to be a ZOOM FITNESS TEACHER AND I TOLD HER SHE CAN JOIN MY CLASS TONIGHT OMG 😭😭😭😂 She was HOTTT! #Prank

@Phe_Phe_2373 @kyler_krebs @CalderKeehn That poor woman who sucks your tits before you suck hers

@Phe_Phe_2373 @kyler_krebs @CalderKeehn hahahah. You brag (big brag) you have bigger boobs than a woman. #GOALZZZ