Parody Stanley Johnson

Turkeys didn't vote for Christmas after all, they voted for Brexit. bbc.co.uk/news/business-…

@MJColeman69 @JohnJCrace Sound and well considered. He's the right man for the job.

Does anyone know if Rishi actually has a plan?

@supertanskiii Guilty as charged. Is it still too late for a termination?

People are saying Boris Johnson will pull out, I wish his dad had.

@AnneLaird31 That's me! 👍

He'll be back!

@misspaulalondon @danwootton @Patrici81420046 @GBNEWS Yes I know but can you stop waiting for me behind the bins.

@danwootton @Patrici81420046 @GBNEWS I love @StanleyJohnsonP

If there’s ever been a day to feel depressed about the state of the MSM and political establishment, this is it. This is all just a parlour game to them. Not to me. A special show coming up on @GBNEWS at 9pm with no spin and no bias. PLUS: Stanley Johnson live in the studio.

Are we there yet?

Oooh I can't wait, nearly my turn to be PM.

@theGrit_music @MarinaPurkiss Is it too late?

@Parody_PM Sorry for reporting you son. April fool and all that. You still up for doing a Lovehoney spending spree with Rachel's credit card?

@rhysthomas I'll check.

How long does the Ostrich hold their head in the sand for?? Just asking for a PM

@Gab_H_R Didn't do my son any harm.

@captainward @mrnickharvey Just let me know when you need me on set.

Everything’s awful. Please tell me something good that’s happened in your life recently. Fill my replies with 🌞.

@thosethatcan I might have the very thing you're looking for. I'm rather good, if I don't say so myself.

I'm going to need something life-affirming to read very soon. Ideally something by a new author or something newly published. What would you recommend? #AskTwitter

@TerenceKnott1 @RachelJohnsonAT @10DowningStreet Rachel would often perform party tricks with assorted woodland creatures whilst Boris screamed with delight in his mink underpants. We are environmentalist through and through.

Will no one rid me of this accursed family⁉️😩😳😵‍💫🐷🐷🐷 @RachelJohnsonAT @10DowningStreet @StanleyJohnsonP

@michaelkerton @jude5456 @BorisJohnson Can't stand the bugger.

@jude5456 @BorisJohnson His dad @StanleyJohnsonP still likes him and so does his sister. 😂

It's all going so well for our great leader @BorisJohnson Putin is refusing to reschedule the phone call. And Russian press have described him as 'the most disliked, disrespected and ridiculed character in Britain'.

It is pure, unfounded conjecture to say there is a culture of alcohol and excessive drinking in No. 10.

@ReydSally @Conservatives @mrjamesob @LBC It's true, he does smell of poo. Hugs Keir Starmer's Dad

What do you think ? 😂😂 @Conservatives @mrjamesob @LBC

@strawthatbroke @LBC @RachelSJohnson Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment. When we play Trivial Pursuit, we often replace @RachelSJohnson with a stick of celery as it provides better answers. Bloody thing normally wins though.

@LBC @RachelSJohnson If plants could talk they would sound like Rachel Johnson. She does not have the first clue about most subjects but doesn't realise it either. Pretty much the same for the rest of her family.

'There is such a thing as bodily sovereignty.' Rachel Johnson declares her 'pro-choice' stance on the 'no jab no job' mandate for NHS and social care staff. @RachelSJohnson lbc.co.uk/radio/presente…

My son is ever so good at this #pmqs lark. No flies on him.

@strawthatbroke @secrettory12 Ooo, I'm up for that. Put me down as chancer and charlatan.

@secrettory12 Can we at least have one round dedicated to eating kangaroo testicles?

Gameshow idea. Hand control of a nation of forelock-tuggers and kids who can't afford rent to a man who has let down every single person he has ever come across and his motley band of chancers, crooks, cosplayers, cowards and charlatans. Last one in post gets a lecture tour.