Joe “Legacy Blue” Stapleton

I did a terrible job promoting this on stream, but I’ve got four shows this weekend in New Orleans at a place called SPORTS DRINK. If you’re someone I have muted on here, tickets and drinks are on me!

"If you aren't guilty you can have a trial." Brandy, this is the most expensive sentence you've ever said and you didn't pay a dollar for it. Let me show you what "having a trial" actually means for the people you're so confidently advising. You are twenty-two years old. You are Black. You are from a neighborhood where the public school lost its art program in 2013, its counselors in 2016, and its after-school funding in 2020. You are charged with a drug offense. Your public defender meets you for the first time four days before your hearing. He has 300 other cases. He has reviewed yours for approximately eleven minutes. The prosecutor offers you eighteen months if you plead guilty today. If you go to trial and lose, and the conviction rate for federal criminal trials is 99 percent, Brandy, 99 percent, you are looking at twelve years mandatory minimum. Twelve years versus eighteen months. You have a child. You have a mother who depends on you. Eighteen months is survivable. Twelve years is the destruction of everything you have. You are innocent. You take the plea. This is not a hypothetical. This is the documented, statistical, court-recorded reality of how 97 percent of American convictions happen. And you looked at that and said: well, they could have had a trial.

You said "don't do crime" like it's a complete thought. Tell me something. When Purdue Pharma flooded entire states with opioids, falsified safety data, bribed doctors, and killed hundreds of thousands of Americans, what happened? The Sackler family paid a fine. Kept their money. Kept their mansions. Kept their names on university buildings. No prison. When a Black teenager in the same state sells a gram of the drug the Sacklers made him addicted to? He gets five years mandatory minimum. Same country. Same drug. Same crime. Different zip code. Different lawyer. Different outcome. You said "don't do crime," Brandy. I'm asking you which crimes you actually mean. Because it is very clear that the system you're defending has a strong opinion about whose crimes count.

“What’s the best tool for cutting the penis off this thing?”

@RB3DI @Amadi_17 I did get one on the stream eventually, but we didn't overlap much today!

@Amadi_17 All we were missing was a @Stapes Buenos Dias Adriiiiiian

The pain is real 🤣

@BigNonVeganDave @PokerStars @PokerStarsUSA 3 days in Louisville is different than 12 days in Dublin followed by 3 days in Louisville followed by 4 days in London followed by 12 days in Monte Carlo, but I thank you for your comment!

@Stapes @PokerStars @PokerStarsUSA can't blame you when you've got a nice stable job which requires no travel to fall back on with the stand-up comedy

Given the state of the world, it feels selfish to try to make any particular day about myself, but it’s never really stopped me before, so I’m afraid I’ve got some bittersweet news to deliver: EPT Monte Carlo 2026 will be my last event with PokerStars.

If yesterday's €100,000 buy-in event wasn't big enough for ya, today we're doing a €250,000 buy-in event. Going live in just under 30 minutes with the best players in the world. @PokerStars Twitch & YouTube.

David Sacks is a elitist conman who was installed by his fellow apartheid broligarchs to pump up their obscene stock prices at all costs. Treating him like a serious participant in a conversation about economics or the pros & cons of AI is not journalism. He is a fraud.

I feel like the US is the only country where people act like it’s some kind of virtue to work yourself into the ground to afford basic life expenses Meanwhile in France the standard workweek is 35 hours & you’re legally protected from having to respond to after hours emails

@jimlad1972 @PokerStars SORRY FOR WATCHING

@Stapes @PokerStars SORRY FOR WATCHING

Going live from #EPTMonteCarlo right now on the @PokerStars twitch & YouTube channels. It's four straight days of nosebleed tournaments (and some cash) before we get to the main event. Come hang with us!!

@AllOrNubbin I thought it might have been. I knew you’d figure it out. 😂

@Stapes Wait, no! The video is flipped. It’s on his left hand! 😂💪🏻🔥

Me 0.4 seconds after winning a WSOP bracelet

When Amazon laid off 92,000 people I did not speak out. But when Spirit went out of business and I could attempt to blame antitrust law, I was ALL IN and outraged at the loss of employment. #Satire

It’s crazy how right-wingers genuinely believe the big bad guys in society are refugees and poor people. Hard to think of a less Christ like ideology than the one these people have.

@McTavish_Ola Oh nice! I will miss you too!

@Stapes this is seriously bad news, will miss you massively in the box, what a legend, much love JoseEllandRd

😭 (still sad though)!

Dead people on voting rolls does not = mass fraud. It’s completely normal. It takes time to remove deceased individuals from voter rolls. They are not voting. Don’t let these idiots scare you into thinking otherwise.

Can we get AI to actually pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots have to become screenwriters?

This is The White House official account. This will be a source of embarrassment for at least 100 years. The GOP should never be in The White House again.

I talk a lot of trash for a guy who sucks at everything

I think we have 2m rather than 20m YouTube subscribers, but still…