kilowattie

You shouldn't give your fucks away. Make them work for it.

Men are fuckin UNHINGED, I changed my WhatsApp photo to just me and some random that I matched with over 2 years ago is like “heyyy how are you? ;)” fuckin excuse me sir?!

Tryna fkn sleep but can’t get Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) out of my head 💀

“Are they (past abusers) reliable witnesses?” “She has more faces than the town clock”

“You can’t pour from an empty cup” “You’re like a magic 8 ball, sometimes you have to try again later”

Tweeting out of pocket things my psychologist says to me: “Some people are dandelions and some people are orchids” 🧵

Rest in Peace Lord Vader

I’m so bad at tidying, I leant over my bed to grab a can for the recycling and ended up on TikTok

@CBRE_UK would love to know why your employee thought this was an acceptable way to park the work van? Beach boulevard retail park, Aberdeen, 17.35. I appreciate I’m on the line (to fit my car in the space) but I was sitting in my car while he did it and my car shook. Careless.

How does everyone else text their supervisor? Cos this is me

The most fuckin depressing thing is the fact I’ve been mentally ill for more than a decade like will it end orrrrr

People say it’s a good thing that I look young but I’ve just had the bloody Spanish Inquisition while trying to buy a cider

@clhubes Took him out the tiniest bit too early

We could just start stealing instead

Today I was refused matches (a 16 product) because I didn’t have my ID on me… I know it’s think 25 but cmon 😑 the guy didn’t believe I was 28, like mate I wish I wasn’t please just let me buy matches so I can light my candles in an aesthetically pleasing manner🙃

Now he’s let my cat go live with him despite being scared of cats, so that I can stay over more 😍🥰

Like today my boyfriend asked me if I’d want to live with him in the future (not possible rn due to current circumstances) then started speaking about how we’d need a big garden for my dogs and it’s just so nice to be accepted and loved and for someone to want you around

Now that I’m in a relationship where my partner actively shows he wants me and wants a future with me I cannot believe how delusional I was in my last one 😬

Nah this time last year I literally had covid and tonsillitis within 3 weeks of eachother and I was so dead I stopped the gym. It’s now been a year since and I haven’t been back, oops 😅

@puppymom93 I had uterine biopsies a year or so ago with no pain medication, they told me to take some paracetamol half an hour beforehand and a nurse had to hold my shoulders down when they did the scrapings because it was so sore my reaction was to curl over into a ball 🙄