Steph Cruickshanks

@Michaeljos92972 In time would you consider relocating to California, closer again to your family? It would be hard to leave your medical team and the memories of Rebecca, however, those memories exist wherever you are.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE. Rough 3 weeks. My brother and sister leave tomorrow. They did a great job helping me transition into my next stage. Once again more family members will be missed. However we had a family Zoom Call last night and everyone except for my neice who is expecting twins at any time will be coming to Orlando on April 25,26,27 for a private family memorial for Rebecca who would have turned 70 on April 26. These short visits are great but heartbreaking when everyone leaves. 💙

@kingbradh She's still in good condition! She must still have her teeth at this advanced age. Good cow.

Her 16th calf. Never late

@KristinRaworth Congratulations. What a joyous day for you.

*taps 🎤* Guess who just got an incredible job after a VERY long five months?!?!?

Get in front of your target audience with a unique sponsorship at #AgDays27 This coming show celebrates our 50th anniversary and we want you to join us in celebrating! Get in touch with our sponsorship team: DM or email sponsorship@agdays.com #50thAnniversary #Celebrating50Years

@upthecreekcattl You better make sure those beer to purchase ratios match your bank account. Things could get dangerous. 🤣

Online cattle sale + beer = a new heifer!!!

Were you farming in 1978? Give us a ❤️ Not farming in 1978? Drop the year you started farming in the comments.

@carnecarnivore They are huge triplets

First set of triples we’ve had, everyone is alive and doing well.

@mikejwhelan You are exhausted Micheal. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Expect nothing of yourself. These are hard hard days. Of your family is still coming end of next week that is good, time for you to just be and then some love brought upon you.

SORRY I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE OR SHARE. MY MIND AND HEART ARE JUST CRUSHED they say it'll past when---- Good question. 😢

@JBsTwoCents How lovely for your fam.

Because this community has meant so much to me, it's important for you to know that within three months, the world will get a little sweeter.

Young people are key to the future of Canadian agriculture. By investing up to $27 million in the Youth Employment and Skills program, we’re helping youth gain experience in the sector while supporting Canada’s food security. For more info: canada.ca/en/agriculture…

@mikejwhelan May her love comfort you in the hours ahead. I am so sorry you have lost the love of your life, half of yourself, the joy in your days.

Rebecca Died 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@rhofford Avian Influenza

How can the price of chicken at the grocery store increase in a supply managed market?

@mikejwhelan I have followed your story, while painful days ahead I would like to see your story through with a follow

PLEASE IF I OWE YOU A FOLLOW SEND ME A POST OR DM. I'M PUTTING SECURITY ON X. I OWE MANY OF YOU FOLLOWS- PLEASE LET ME KNOW. 💙💗💗💗💗

@mikejwhelan What a love you share to provide this care through her ending days.

REBECCA JUST MET WITH ALL THE DOCTORS. HOPEFULLY, SHE'LL MAKE IT A WEEK. I'VE SAID EVERYTHING I'VE NEEDED TO SAY. SHE'S RESTING COMFORTABLY SINCE HER NEW MEDS. 💙 I AM USING SECURITY ON twitter. IF I OWE YOU A FOLLOW LET ME KNOW SO YOU CAN REACH ME. I'M DOING MY BEST TO GET RID OF BOTS AND NEANDERTHALS. DON'T FEEL EMBARRASSED TO TELL ME. WE LOVE YOU ALL. I WON'T BE POSTING MANY PICTURES UNTIL DOCUMENTARY. 💙

Selling a beautiful group of bred heifers in Killarney tomorrow. Sale starts at noon. Very quiet bred to light birthweight bulls. For info dm me.

@mikejwhelan Please take care of your needs during this time as well Micheal. If your Dr needs to prescribe additional anxiety meds, that's ok. The brain is a funny thing, even if Rebecca couldn't be mentally present during your family visit, her heart knew they were there & now she is ready

REBECCA UPDATE 😓 DOCTORS AND NURSES JUST HERE. IT'S THEIR OPION THAT REBECCA IS BEGINNING HER TRANSITION TOWARD THE END. I AM SHATTERED AND DEVESTATED DEALING WITH SEVERE PANIC ATTACKS..😓😓😓😓😓😓👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

@kowalchukfarms1 I also cringe when we in the ag world talk about educating the public. I prefer to just invite people in to our segment of the economy, let them discover.

Most consumers don’t know a regular farmer but they might know one of the many who put themselves out there and help tell our stories outside our bubble We need to support those who do a good job of bringing awareness to our industry Not cut them down…

@mikejwhelan Does home hospice care in this case mean she is enrolled for care in your home? Or have they moved her to a facility to allow for her care and your rest?

I PUT REBECCA INTO HOME HOSPICE TODAY. I KNOW EVERYONE SAYS IT'S THE BEST THING AND I'M SURE IT IS BUT TODAY MY HEART IS BROKEN. THANK YOU EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT. 😪💙

@mikejwhelan Micheal, I think hospice care is a gift to you both. The care will allow you to be her husband and not her caregiver, to only love her with the time you have remaining together.

HOSPICE UPDATE Well, we made it through the day. That feels like a small sentence for something that felt so enormous. The woman we spoke with couldn’t have been kinder—gentle, patient, the kind of calm you borrow when yours is gone. She talked about hospice the way someone talks about love at the end of a long life: not as surrender, but as protection. As mercy. As presence. I listened, nodded, took notes and notes and notes… and inside I was walking a tightrope strung between fear, information overload, and one unbearable question I carry everywhere now: What is truly best for Rebecca? Because she is not doing well. Not hospital unwell—no sirens, no drama, no heroic interventions left. She is doing something quieter. Something far more frightening. She is fading. Most days she looks eighty. Maybe older. She can’t hold a thought long enough to finish a sentence. She can’t walk. She can’t pee on her own. She can’t sit and watch her birds anymore—the birds she loved, the birds she named, the birds that once anchored her to the day. Silence has replaced her voice. Confusion has replaced her wit. And I am standing in the same house, married to the same woman, but living in a different universe than the one we shared just six months ago. Six months. That’s what breaks me when I let it in. Six months ago she could walk. She could talk. She could argue with me, tease me, correct my memory, finish my sentences. Now I’m the only one finishing anything, and every ending terrifies me. The fear lives in my head. That’s the cruelest part. My worst fears—the ones I never said out loud, the ones I tried to outrun with research and hope and sheer stubborn love—have come true. I just didn’t expect them at seventy. I thought we had more runway. More ordinary days. More nothing-special afternoons that turn out to be everything. Hospice makes sense because the fight has changed. This is no longer about fixing her. It’s about loving her safely. It’s about comfort instead of chaos. Familiar walls instead of fluorescent lights. A bed that knows her shape. A husband who knows her breathing. Hospice isn’t giving up on Rebecca—it’s choosing to stay with her in the most human way left. And the truth I don’t say enough, the truth that scares me almost as much as losing her, is this: Being her caregiver for the last two years is killing me. Not metaphorically. Literally. My body is breaking down under the weight of vigilance. My heart is under siege. My mind lives in a constant state of alarm. I am exhausted beyond language. I am frozen—an old man standing in doorways, afraid to move because every decision feels irreversible. I love her so fiercely that it’s costing me my health, my sleep, my sense of time. I am trying to keep both of us alive with hands that are shaking. Hospice feels like someone finally acknowledging that love like this needs help. That devotion doesn’t mean isolation. That I don’t have to die with her in order to prove how much I love her. But I still have so many questions. I need another call. I need someone to walk this with me again, slowly, because my brain locks up when my heart takes over. I need reassurance that choosing comfort is not choosing abandonment. I need to hear—again—that what I’m feeling is normal, that this fear doesn’t mean I’m failing her. Because I am so afraid. I am afraid of mornings. Afraid of nights. Afraid of the quiet. Afraid of the moment she won’t recognize me—and the moment after that. Afraid that I will lose the love of my life while I am still standing right here, holding her hand. I am not brave. I am not strong. I am just a husband who loves his wife, standing at the edge of what comes next, hoping—begging—that bringing hospice home will let her feel peace… and let me survive loving her all the way to the end.

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