Still doing well

@LibertyCappy It’s not just “unnatural colors” it’s the dye chemicals seeping into your scalp. It messes with your body’s natural chemical balance.

Are you surprised by this?

@HeatherIsUnsane Hey @Bob_Janke you up for a road trip

I'm sorry, but this is insane. Metallica can suck it.

@Bob_Janke For real stop bragging about having a hose. I used to drink out of the river.

If one more person says they drank out of a hose I'm going to fucking lose it

@Mericamemed Hey that thing is hard to photograph, it’s going 17,0000 miles an hour!

come on man it's not rocket science

@Bob_Janke I used to have a big thick leather bikers wallet with the chain on it. BIG ol’ Southern flag on it. Not because I was cool, but because I often lost my wallet! Not because I was racist… but because I loved the Dukes of Hazard and my mom let me pick it out at the flea market!

This wallet better be for patriots or you can get it away from me

@Bob_Janke This guy?

Jethro Tull is as close to listening to jazz as I'll ever get

@Bob_Janke If you’re bold enough you can eat anything

You can eat a cactus??

@Bob_Janke @DamonHunzeker Days of sandals

@DamonHunzeker It's almost as far back from now to when the Beatles first came to America, as it was when the Beatles first came to America and Wyatt Earp was in the Gunfight at the OK Corral. So which old days do they mean

Paul McCartney has a great new song out about the old days, and Ringo Starr has a terrible new song out about the old days. (This “tweet” is for informational purposes only and contains no joke. Go about your business.)

@Bob_Janke Retirement is hell

All of the ads I see on YouTube are elderly people painting pictures in sun lit rooms and old men in too much protective gear riding bicycles very slowly and I feel like they're trying to tell me something

@Bob_Janke @MoMohler Coca-Cola created Santa Claus

@MoMohler Christmas started on Christmas Island. I think it had something to do with all those crabs they have

Obviously Thanksgiving was created in Turkey, so I just assume Easter started on Easter Island.

Nobody has ever finished a game of Monopoly

@PatrickAbrazos Hair dye makes people crazy

¿Por qué siempre que aparece una nota sobre algún experimento social raro (una "trieja" en este caso, una pareja de tres) los individuos parecen una bolsa de problemas mentales, hiper infantilizados y sonriendo forzadamente como si estuvieran a punto de llorar?

@mattvanswol At a certain point people will take matters into their own hands and the vigilantes will outnumber the cops. Wild West style.

🚨#BREAKING: A community in Raleigh NC is in TOTAL DISBELIEF after a man who has been arrested a mind-boggling 38 PREVIOUS TIMES WITH OVER 120+ CHARGES... ...has just BEEN LET OUT OF JAIL AGAIN FOR CARRYING A CONCEALED WEAPON!!! Resident are TERRIFIED and don't know what to do.

@HappyMotorhead If @Bob_Janke were Batman, this would be his Batmobile.

HOT or NOT?

@Jvnior @SodMiserable If it’s bad enough to destroy the whole system then the system should be destroyed. LET IT ALL BURN 🔥

🚨🇺🇸 BREAKING NEWS: “We’re not going to prosecute the predators in the Epstein files or release their names to the public.” — US Attorney General, Todd Blanche

If you have young children right now they’re probably going to be having sex with robots when they’re of age to date.

@Fallen_Punk @cybrtrkguy Staged

@cybrtrkguy We lost two entire astronaut crews to the shuttle program. That external tank turned into a lethal weapon during takeoff

Maybe I'm too young but the Space Shuttle is perfection 🤌 very nostalgic

@DearS_o_n You only THINK you’ve hit rock bottom. You’re posting on Twitter (X) so you’ve still got quite a ways to fall.

To all men who survived rock bottom, what’s one piece of advice would you give a man who feels like giving up right now?

@Nobunny333 Because the Earth is spinning at a Thousand miles an hour

@JonKatz79 I played E.T. all the way through and flipped it multiple times.

The best Atari game was Pitfall, and it wasn't even close.