Still Game Quotes

We've shot every creature on God's earth. We even, kicked a giraffe to death once. #StillGameQuote

“She’s a lovely woman that Isa” “Aye, if yer stone deaf...” #StillGameQuote

The McDade millions will not be passed on to the natural son John but instead, in its totality, to the cat and dug home! #StillGameQuote

“Ye doin food son?” “Normally aye but ma cooks in hospital wae the depression” “Queerest thing I’ve ever seen. Took aw his clathes off, put them in a neat wee pile, walked into the water. They carted him. He wis navy blue...shouting and bawlin aboot toasties” #StillGameQuote

Oh flower of Scotland when will we see this line again #StillGameQuote

"How much were you planning to spend?" "80 quid. Max" "Aye well there's an opticians next door, get yersel a thicker pair a specs!" #StillGameQuote

SCOTTTLAND! SCOTTTLAND! You. Must. Be. SHITIN yersel! #StillGameQuote

There are two customers hinging about like a couple of spare pricks for the paint guy. The carpet arsehole is unable to assist because the shiftless bastard knows hee haw aboot paint! #StillGameQuote

"Is your telly no working?" "Oh no it works fine, I just can't get a picture" #StillGameQuote

"Are you aboot ready?" "I am a bawhair away fae perfection, Jack" #StillGameQuote

But know this, I run a tight ship, not a shite tip! #StillGameQuote

"Feeches" "Yes feeches tae you too, are ye helpin us or wit" “NAW, a tennur fae each ae yees!" #StillGameQuote

“Wit is it you’re reading?” “The Prague Heist” “That’s about a heist, in Prague” #StillGameQuote

Where's ma scone? Where's ma scone? Here it is, next tae the phone. #StillGameQuote

The camera operators at THAT Coldplay concert:

Brrrrrrr is shite. Bing Bong is much more modern #StillGameQuote

“Our chef used to work at Hotel du Vin. Wait until you taste his lasagne” “A LIKE LASAGNE!” #StillGameQuote

Pete the Jakey claimed he saw a crocodile in the Kelvin once. Mind you, that wis back when he wis injectin absinthe inty his tongue! #StillGameQuote

Any breaking of said rules will result in a swift kick to the tadger and yer maw an da will be grassed to #StillGameQuote