StripperGenius

"I try to keep my ass smelling good because sooner or later it's going on someone's face."

"Could you open the door and smell me? I think I smell like fish."

"Is there some sort of Batsignal I'm not aware of, letting everyone know I'm suddenly single, so they feel the need to send me dick pics?!"

"How many different ways can you do anal?"

We here at SG would like to welcome our latest celebrity follower, the stunning @DolliexxxDarko! Go show her some love! Thanks, Dollie! ;)

"I just wanna be pregnant one time and not go to jail."

"This night sucks my dick. Which sucks, cause I like sucking dick. But this REALLY sucks dick."

"Some bitch cooked fish in the dressing room microwave and now the whole place smells like nasty, dirty, rotten vagina."

Good to see our friend @AdamComedian on the promo for #LookingForAFight right after #UFC200. Get it, brother!

"She's been drinking all day. Her step brother just broke up with her."

Stripper: "Hey, I showed up early today!" Manager: "You mean on time?"

"I'm great at multitasking when it comes to substance abuse."

"Can I have one more drink, and then can you cut me off and tell me to get a life?"

"Do you think Orajel would numb my butthole?"

Stripper: "Ain't nond you deez roided mofos betta den me and my shit." DJ: "Wow."

The hilarious @AdamComedian (follow both him & @MMARoasted!) and head of SG @DanceDance7! #StandUp #FuckYeah

We are looking forward to seeing @MMARoasted this weekend at @Level2Comedy! #WeAreEverywhere

"I gotta get laid. I'll just wander outside for awhile. Somebody will fuck me."

"Guys think we come back to the dressing room and talk about how much we want to fuck them. I'd rather stick a pineapple up my ass."

Amazing comic & SG follower @tomsegura has a new special on @netflix "Mostly Stories" & it's wonderful! Watch that shit! Great work, Tom!!!