Structured Success

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A lot of autistic people make internal rules to help reduce changing expectations and add predictability to unpredictable situations. Unfortunately, sometimes those internals rules can outlast their usefulness, and make us feel weird doing things we are very much allowed to do

It's mindblowing how good my ADHD brain is at remembering that I forgot something, but NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY FORGOT. WHAT!?!

Everyone likes to feel like their actions impact the world around them. Unfortunately, this can lead us to misattribute external factors beyond our control as direct consequences of our actions. This misattribution is fundamental to some experiences of OCD

It's so weird how we moralize people's behaviour, even when it's not harmful to anyone. People are lazy when they prioritize rest. People are careless when they don't prioritize the things we expect them to. It feels like we're talking about something else entirely, doesn't it?

@focusmoapp Completely agree. This takes cognitive effort and is always going to be a thankless task because no one is going to see the effort we have to put in. That sucks. It also means that if we this, we need to reward ourselves for it. Thank ourselves for it. Celebrate ourselves for it

@StructuredSucc the invisible tax of it — most people get turn-taking for free, you're running manual traffic control on every conversation. and the effort never shows, it just looks like 'being normal' from the outside

My ADHD brain moves FAST, and that means that I can easily crowd people out of conversations if I'm not careful. To prevent this, I have to be super intentional about letting other people respond before I speak again, ESPECIALLY when I'm interested, passionate, or emotional

We need to plan for the life we have first, before planning for the one we want. We aren't going to wake up a different person tomorrow, so if you regularly need extra sleep, plan that in. If it needs to feel urgent to get out the door set the remind 5 minutes before not an hour

Me: I've been wanting to do this for ages. Can I please just do it? Just a little bit? My executive function: No do. Only guilt.

Being autistic changes how we communicate, how we solve problems, and how we navigate daily life. Learning that we are autistic, or being diagnosed, often changes all of this over again as we develop a better understanding of ourselves and how our brain works

Them: The rules are the rules… My autistic ass, making notes: *nods* Them: …unless they're more of a guideline… Me: *nodding slows* Them: …or everyone knows that it's not ACTUALLY a rule Me: wait… WHAT!?!?

Wild take. Taking care of yourself is better than not taking care of yourself. There's plenty of times we think "it'd be better if I do it in the morning" or "it'd be better if I did it when…" STOP! Taking care of yourself now is better than putting it off for 'perfect' later

Yes, I lost my keys again. That's the consequence, but what led up to it? Was it distraction, limitations in our working memory, a subconscious drive toward efficiency? Rather than fighting these, can we change the steps so they are less likely to derail us?

We need to stop focusing exclusively on consequences when it comes to managing ADHD. We need to understand how we got to that outcome. If we change these, we may be able to change the result for the next time. For example:

If you ask me, the hardest part of accommodating the way your neurodivergent brain works isn't finding the strategies or tools. It's learning to accept that you need the strategies or tools and that it doesn't change your value as a person

It's almost never only one person who has ADHD in a family. When one person is diagnosed, it's SO common for parents and siblings to also figure out that their ADHD too. This is the power of knowing what ADHD actually looks like… and, well, genetics

Psst. There is no rule that you have to do self-care in a specific way. If it helps you, do it. Yes, even if that means drinking coffee because you can't get yourself to drink water. Yes, even if you brush your teeth at 2pm rather than in the morning

Welcome to ADHD club. The first rule of ADHD club is store things where you're going use them~! ...did you think I was going to say something else?

@LCC1204 @OriiionInOrbit I am going to have to try this~

@StructuredSucc @OriiionInOrbit Hold a pencil in each hand. Write as normal with your dominant hand and your non-dom hand will write the mirror image. You don’t even have to actually write with dom hand for it to work. Hold an imaginary pencil in the dom hand and the non-dom will mirror

Nothing convinces me that my brain is ACTUALLY different than other people faster than when people say: "Just make an L with your hands. The one that's an L is your left." frfr, my brain sees those as IDENTICAL. My brain says both are 'L' no matter how you rotate or flip it

A lot of ADHD'ers process information verbally. It can be a super effective strategy, but it also a vulnerable state because our thoughts are still forming and changing. Choosing when, where, and with whom it's safe to be this vulnerable is key to it's success

Neurodivergent success can't be only be measured by neurotypical standards