Lisa Maher

@kaymoustakkkkas Nostrils

anytime someone tells me i’m funny i wanna make out with them right then and there

I want to talk to the person who named chicken pot pie.

Officially coming out as a lesbian, all men are trash.

@kaymoustakkkkas Um bitch you just ask and we say yes

How do I convince all my gfs to go to a Jets game

@kaymoustakkkkas Been thinking a lot about babies lately 👀

If I ever decide to have kids I just know my parents would be the BEST grandparents ever

Thank you Top Gun for convincing every man to grow a mustache. I am so, so thankful.

I don’t think I’ve ever owned a phone I didn’t break.

@kaymoustakkkkas Let’s get drunk together and book another trip on a whim lmao

Drunk me messages EVERY bumble match I get. Drunk me is so fun and shaneless I love her

@kaymoustakkkkas Was this me lmao

“i’d say you’re a gold digger. and that’s not a diss! it’s a lifestyle!” - my bff

I have always ran really shit miles and struggled to finish, and now that I am in the best shape of my life, I’d like to announce that I still have a really shit mile time.

This is going to be fucked up but I want this known. If I die in a car accident or hit by a car on the side of the road, DO NOT leave my memorial on the side of the road where I died. That is the most degrading thing I have ever seen. Put a memorial somewhere I was fucking happy

I don’t care what anyone says, there is no such thing as runners high.

@kaymoustakkkkas I am gonna go ahead and disagree lol you would get so fed up with people

ok i think i would be a great reality tv show host. just saying

Happy Hanukkah ☺️

anybody wanna link up & just cry for a minute

i need a new tattoo ASAP!!!!!! i am BORED AND DEPRESSED!!!!!!