Supreme Court Haiku

So I took some time off from here and now I’m a Certified Cicerone® for some reason. For reals. I am unsure if the two are related. @cicerone

Worst Facebook post: “my son/daughter just passed his/her driver’s test so look out! He/she is likely to do the vehicular manslaughter to you!”

@SCOTUSPlaces @johnpelwood Harsh, but fair.

Not gonna lie. I really did not see her coming out this hard against "That contention lacks merit."

@KevinMKruse Pantera and the Wiggles

@brewerytravels Session IPAs are ill-conceived and unbalanced. Just drink a pale ale and deal with the 20 extra calories.

Drop your craft beer take that gets this reaction

Me: Finally I can eat healthy and lose that holiday weight. Court Reporting Service: Here is this giant bin of chocolate covered peanut brittle that I shall leave in your office kitchen.

@smmarotta So you’re saying the curse is sometimes a blessing?

There's something about being in law, especially BigLaw, that makes being away on vacation for 8 days, even on the week that even BigLaw litigation generally shuts down, feel like getting away with something.

@SBA_Matthias I’m just a boy. Standing in front of a CEO. Asking him to let me handle his trademarks.

Does anyone know an affordable trademark attorney? Asking for a friend 🤔

Hey guys maybe we should reconstitute Twitter on CB radio. Breaker breaker!

@BoomSoMuch You apparently need an air fryer.

Be good to yourself. Reheat your pizza in a frying pan instead of the microwave. You deserve it.

At a 4YO birthday party at an inflatable place that has the lights off with disco-y strobes and glo sticks and I cannot help but wonder if their insurance carrier knows about this aspect of the place.

@B_Palfreyman The have La Fin Du Mond at Canada in Epcot in 24 ounce cups for about the same price as other beers. Godspeed.

Just landed in Orlando for the family’s first trip to Disney - any survival/beer tips?

@markyzaguirre I thought we were friends.

The Dutch are really good at soccer because they grew up learning to play the game while wearing wooden shoes. Unfair advantage. #USAvNED

This is probably what people felt like during The Great CB Radio Crash of 1979.

@markyzaguirre @EricaGrieder It’s as it should be.

@EricaGrieder No, Sugar Land is an imperial protectorate of Houston. Not a suburb.

Here's a fun question, for tweeps in the greater Houston area: is Sugar Land a "suburb"?

Which Mastodon server do I join to drop dad jokes about Pennoyer v. Neff?

@MLBMetrics You are the worst.

I wonder if the Baseball Hall of Fame let the old Phanatic out of his cage to celebrate?

This Astros-Mariners 0-0 game is the soccer of baseball.

@smmarotta He’s not wrong.

5YO has been angling for the new Lego Star Wars game. So he finally convinced my wife that HE should get it for ME for MY birthday so that WE can play it together. He is going to be an amazing lawyer some day.