Captain Cake 🍩 🇾🇪

@TrollTouchline Bitter Geordie 🙄

🚨🚨🎙️ Alan Shearer SLAMS Bruno Fernandes matching the Premier League assist record: “The intensity of the league is weaker now than it was in the Henry and Kevin eras.” “Fair play to Bruno Fernandes because twenty assists in the Premier League is not easy, but I still think people are getting carried away comparing every era like they’re exactly the same. When Thierry Henry and Kevin De Bruyne were putting up those numbers, the league felt far more intense to me. Back then you had defenders flying into tackles, midfielders constantly on top of you, and creative players barely had a second to breathe. Now the game is more open, more tactical, and honestly attackers get protected a lot more. Bruno is a fantastic player, nobody is denying that, but the conditions are different. And let’s be honest, everything at Manchester United goes through him. Every attack, every transition, every set piece. Naturally your numbers are going to explode when the entire system is built around you touching the ball all the time. For me, when Henry and De Bruyne did it, there was this control and dominance to their teams. Arsenal and City were overwhelming sides playing incredible football week after week. With Bruno, sometimes it feels more chaotic, more moments than complete control. So yes, respect the achievement, absolutely. But matching the number doesn’t automatically mean it carries the exact same weight across different eras.”

@redgrose7 @UtdTony1 Spot on.

@UtdTony1 Who should we get not to repeat our mistakes? A solid, experienced guy like Moyes? A superstar veteran like LvG? A serial winner like Jose? This year’s model like EtH or Amorim? We’ve tried them all. All failed. There is no magic solution. Michael has as good a chance as anyone.

🗣️ Roy Keane: “People think we hate Michael Carrick — come on, that’s not true. We just don’t want the club repeating the mistakes of the past. Now he’s got the job permanently, let’s see how it unfolds. Those calling me a Manchester United hater might end up eating their words. Only time will tell… yeah, only time will tell.”

@Palasty_ Yep.

Quick One — will you accept Mason Greenwood back at Old Trafford?

@oszieuk I've seen them given numerous times

@Suthers44 Yes and if he had touch the ball would have been offside but as he didn’t get involved at that phase not offside.

How can that Celtic goal stand, they make this shit up as they go along

@oszieuk The goal scorer was offside when that pass was made to the wide player

@Suthers44 Sorry pal clearly onside so goal good

@HarryMUFC47 The goal scorer was offside when the ball was played

@Suthers44 Onside

@WelBeast They got more points, meaning they have been better over the course of the season you thick fucker.

Did Manchester United get top four because they were good or is it because Liverpool and Aston Villa were poor?

@EricLDaugh He arranged for that to be asked, just so he can suck his own dick again. Its not as if he needs the money either, let's face it.

🚨 IT’S OFFICIAL: President Trump is DONATING his presidential salary to preserving the White House Patriot 🇺🇸 “Do you still donate your salary, and if so who is it going to?” TRUMP: I do. Much of it goes to White House preservation. 🔥

Just seen the West Ham disallowed goal, Arsenal got away with one there. What about their defender with two arms round the West Ham Player pushing him out the way.

@EricLDaugh Ladies and gentlemen, your president. You have a teenager in charge of your country 🤣🤣🤣

🚨 LMFAO! President Trump just posted this banger “A highly accurate depiction of the Sleepy Joe Biden Administration. Tremendous damage done but, WE’RE BACK!!!” 🔥🇺🇸

@PeteHegseth @POTUS Yeah, whatever 😂😂😂😂

@TRUMP_ARMY_ Reword it to give a thumbs up if you're a gullible fool

Give me a Thumbs Up 👍🏻, If you stand with them!

@warDaniel47 Another Trump payoff incoming

🚨 KASH PATEL JUST CONFIRMED: THE FBI HAS THE RECEIPTS…THE 2020 ELECTION WAS STOLEN They didn’t ‘win’…they stole the White House with an orchestrated plan that OVERTHREW an ELECTION TREASON at the highest levels LAWYER UP, DEEP STATE TRAITORS…PRESIDENT TRUMP IS COMING FOR YOU

@utdsnook @Pantonoby He's done that many times this season and got away with it, never knew a good shove in the back with an arm is legal.

How is this not a foul? Clearly pushes him with no intention of getting the ball. twitter.com/Efmedia257564/…

@daved731 He's a tit ain't he.

Will someone please smack that Scouse cvnt Neville in the mouth, all he does is bad mouth us, hoping that goals get disallowed or people get sent off. Winds me the fuck up

@StuCoopsUTD Struggled again today didn't he, wrong pass at the end, why go to Dalot and not Zirkzee.

No-one can tell me Amad is a good player, he's dog shit with zero end product. He's 24 not a kid, out the door 👎🏻

Make mine a double! From 15th to CL qualifiers in 3rd, chuffed to bits.

That been coming all game tbh. Shocking.

@dbongino And?

Today is May 2nd, 2026 and Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States of America.