Poison Bag Pokémon

@SnorIax I just happen to know that they dump the leftovers and clean out the drain traps on their dish washers at approximately 11:45 p.m.

@SnorIax Here's the kicker: they know I come, AND THEY DON'T RAT ME OUT TO THE FUZZ. FUCKING A, SO AWESOME.

@Zigzagoon Thanks again for the Sonly Plasma screen hook-up, lil' brotha. I don't know where you get the merchandise, and I DO NOT CARE! :D

Hot dog with peanut butter, jelly, and captain crunch on top. Amazing.

Just drank a bottle of ranch dressing. Seriously disappointed, need something solid to dip into it.

Unrelated note: Discarded newspaper stacks are solid.

Additional unrelated note: that couch out by the curb is also solid.

I think I may need more ranch dressing. :/

DEAR DIARY: ACHIEVED CHILDHOOD DREAM! Took me a whole week, but I have eaten an ENTIRE 1982 Dodge Prospector Van! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

WHO'S TERRIFYING WHO NOW, PROSPECTOR? Let's see you try to run down innocent gulpin WHEN YOUR DIGESTED, BITCH. >:D

Shit, now I'm hungry again. :(

Note to self: Eating hard drive is dumb/expensive as hell

Note to self: Try used keyboards delicious alternative to hard drive.

In the time it took me to get a new 'drive I've been having bizarre dreams about this ship. The thing is the ship is made entirely of meat.

NEW SPAGHETTI RECIPE: Brick of Ramen Noodles + Packet of Ketchup. Don't boil water, it takes too long. Smear ketchup on brick, eat. Repeat

I got to the end of a buffet and saw Coolwhip in a bowl and slathered my pie with it and was shocked when it turned out to be sour cream.

I was more shocked when it was good, it was like whipped cream but not sweet and instead sour.

Oh, and they want me to pay the county back for the tracking monitor(s) I ate. GOOD LUCK, DUMBASSES! >:D

Apparently if I get within 100 feet of a Little Ceasers I become a convicted felon. THIS FUCKING COUNTRY, AMIRITE???

Just got off of 4 months probation. Dickbags at Little Ceaser's called police on me when I tried to tip the dumpster for old Hot'n'Readys.