kb

Little known facts about ya girl: When using a hot glue gun I always burn myself. Always. When using super glue, I will inevitably glue myself, usually to myself. And when using spray paint I ALWAYS get that shit on me. Mostly fingers/hands but usually arms too. #winning

Seriously though, just an absolute shit human.

To be honest, I don’t care what exactly happens to you, but if you could just fall off the face of the Earth now, I’d really appreciate it.

I miss my family.

I just feel…flat

What kind of heinous piece of shit human drags their kids?

You have no redeeming qualities.

So, where do they hold their baby eating parties now?

Annnnnd now I have Alice Cooper’s “I’m eighteen” stuck in my head.

Wait, why do we care about the decrease in population? #lesspollution #lesstaxingonresources #everyonemindyourbusiness

Imagine the surprise of all the boomers who had ICE in their contacts, ‘In Case of Emergency’

When you leave love notes for your coworker #workfarts

Nothing a little Creedence can’t fix.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do…except, you know, it was Twitter then. Simpler times man.

When your FIL is building new animal pens and makes a door that accommodates the big white girl 😂 #nomoreruinedshirts #noducking

Say it with me now: ‘I am deserving’. Let’s heal some trauma here people. We got this.

Can I just say that I REALLY appreciate people who are in a good mood ass early in the morning, especially people in customer service

Just saw a post that referred to our brains as an ‘electric meatball’. I will no longer accept any other term from here on out.

Worth every. fucking. penny.